


you and the hues

by icelikestwice



Category: TWICE - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, Happy Ending?, Slow Burn, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 00:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30097839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icelikestwice/pseuds/icelikestwice
Summary: achromatopsia was an illness that prevented it's patient from seeing colors.  forever living in a monochrome world, never seeing the colors that painted their surroundings.in a world where you find your soulmate will bring colors into your life, sana meets jihyo while jihyo remains blind to the world of colors around her.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina, Minatozaki Sana/Park Jisoo | Jihyo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58
Collections: Fic/Art Exchange (The Fic/Art Tinder)





	you and the hues

**Author's Note:**

> This work was made for the #FicArtExchange hosted by [keiyuuart](https://twitter.com/keiyuuart) on Twitter! My partner has already posted their amazing work via this [link!](https://twitter.com/wanseupanataym/status/1368715492861607937)). Please check them out and support their other artworks~ All spelling errors and mistakes are mine :D
> 
> P.S - Artist Friend, I'm sorry this took so long! I really wasn't supposed to go so much over the 5k word limit ^^;

The familiar buzzing of the alarm tone from her phone is what initially wakes Jihyo up. She groans as she rolls over to the other side of the bed to shut it up.

She falls asleep after that, prompting to hit the snooze button for a five minute power nap.

We all know how that ends for everyone, even for the ambitious Park Jihyo herself.

Five minutes turn into thirty, and thirty turns into an hour. Before she even knew it, her final alarm tone had rung and the sunlight had made its way through her window to hit her eyes. She opens them and groans, sighing at the monochrome sight before her. She didn’t mind though, she heard that the colors only made the sun brighter than it already is. She sat there for a few moments, basking in the sun as she watched the world from her big window. But then it hits her.

She’s gonna be late.

Jihyo jolts out of bed and quickly rushes to the bathroom, trying to fight the sleep out of her eyes as she turns the shower on. 

It seems like it was another typical monday morning for Park Jihyo. One filled with a headache and a monochrome world welcoming her to the bustling streets of Seoul.

(Sana wakes up on the other side of town, her thoughts filled with hopes of being able to see the morning light a little brighter.)

* * *

Achromatopsia is a visual impairment that hinders its patient from being able to see colors. Unlike being colorblind, this condition does not just alter the hues of the colors that the person sees, it turns it into a monochrome tone. It is a total absence of color, which is quite unfortunate when you live in a world where you find your soulmate by beginning to see colors once you make contact with them.

A lot of doctors have tried to formulate a cure for this disease, but not much has been done and it’s patients have to live in a dull environment for a long and undetermined amount of time. 

Soulmate searching has not been a proven cure to this problem, but some people still hang on to that sliver of hope. Wishing to see colors at least once in their life. 

Achromatopsia is a hereditary disease that has plagued Jihyo’s bloodline for decades, and after she had shown symptoms of the ailment, she was diagnosed with it. At a young age, the dream of being able to see rainbows was crushed immediately. But of course, Jihyo was ambitious. She knew that there was hope, somewhere. 

You didn’t need colors to be able to find your soulmate. Who needs hues when you can just feel, right? It worked for her parents, how would it not work for her?

A lot of people wouldn’t have been so optimistic, some even prompting to never search for a cure. But everyday, she sees people around her smile as they take in the hues of the outside world. They are able to see what she could only dream of, and that’s being able to see the colors of the world. Jihyo stayed determined, because that’s the only thing that she could really do.

Jihyo looks at the clock as she grabs the heated grilled cheese that had been left out for her in the microwave before leaving the house. “Shit.” She says as she rushes out the door and starts sprinting to the subway station. She had 30 minutes to get to her campus, but she got a text last night that she had to pick up a few packages and files that they would need for their upcoming thesis project. That should be no biggie, the drop off site was right beside one of the stations that she’ll be passing by anyway. The plan was simple: Get off that stop, grab the stuff, get back in the subway, and hopefully arrive in time. The only problem would be rush hour and that hundreds of people would be lining up for the trains that morning, so Jihyo had to be quick. 

Thinking about this, JIhyo’s sprint turned into a full on dash. 

Jihyo arrives at the station and she quickly loads her card then makes her way through the crowd. A sea of people was kind of an intimidating sight, Jihyo even remembers getting lost in one as a kid. But then, there are the instances that fate happens and strings collide. Jihyo has seen dozens of people meet their soulmates in the streets now that she’s kind of starting to envy them. How can something so simple as buying groceries at a mall turn into such a magical event where colors suddenly spark around you as time seemingly just stops. Jihyo is one of the few people to just stop and stare as two soulmates finally meet, their hands touching as smiles grow on their faces. 

Jihyo sees it in their eyes. Even if they were just strangers a second ago, she saw how their eyes sparkled as if they were looking at a distant star. It surely took her a lot of convincing that some people just don’t feel that way, and that not everyone feels the spark that others do. 

It was already 7:25, and Jihyo had to be at the university by 8. She was starting to get antsy now, quickly entering the train as the doors opened. Thanks to her small physique, she was able to sneak in through the crowd without having to nudge elbows with too many people. Rush hour was always like this, which was why Jihyo preferred riding her bike. Unfortunately, the said bike’s tires had gone flat. So Jihyo had to make some small sacrifices until they get it fixed during the weekend. For now, Jihyo is stuck in a crowded train as time ticks down the clock. Jihyo spends the idle time by going on her phone to check on her social media apps. 

It’s funny how time flies by fast when you’re seeing everyone in your life move ahead faster than you.

After a few minutes of idling by, Jihyo looks up at the window and sees that she’s close to her designated stop. With this, she stands up and hangs on to one of the many handlebars as she waits for the train to stop. The station was a relatively busy one so she had to be at the front so she could pass by with ease. The train finally stops and the automatic doors open for everyone to go through. A few grumbly old men push past her and she lets it happen, knowing not to create conflict in the already messy train station. 

Jihyo proceeds to step out of the cart as less people are fighting to get out of it, and that’s when she bumps into someone. It was a small collision, nothing to really think about. But then, the woman stops dead in her tracks, staring right at her like a deer caught in headlights. That’s when she realizes that the woman was lightly holding the back of her hand, like she was caught off balance for a moment. They stared at each other for a moment longer, and it was honestly starting to get weird but Jihyo just couldn’t stop staring.

What’s this feeling at the pit of her stomach that’s yelling at her to do something?

But then, a beep resonates from the train’s speakers, signifying that the doors are about to close. People are still shuffling past them, grumbling as they’re blocking a good portion of the doors. Jihyo takes this as a sign to leave, she can’t be caught up in whatever weird staring contest this is. With a small bow and a mumbled apology, Jihyo rushes out the doors and heads towards the busy station, her heart thumping for some wild reason. 

“Must be a case of the mondays.” Jihyo says to herself as she exits the station in a hurry.

* * *

Sana had to be nudged inside the train cart as she stood there, momentarily frozen in place. What the hell just happened? She enters the train for a moment and suddenly, she is met with the most beautiful brown eyes that she’s ever seen. That’s when she realizes that, holy shit, she can see colors. She just met her soulmate, this was the magical moment that she always dreamed of as a kid. But something’s off, why was it a one sided thing? Why is it that it was only her world that stopped? 

Why did she meet her soulmate, and why did her soulmate seem to have not met her?

“Okay, Sana. Think straight.” Sana mumbles to herself, taking in a deep breath and observing her surroundings. She wasn’t doing this to take in the colors around her, she’s doing this to check if anyone was as wide-eyed as she was right now. To her dismay, the people inside the cart seem to take no mind of their surroundings. No excited eyes, no searching looks. It had to be that girl, it had to be her. Sana was close to pulling her hair out right then and there. This wasn’t the fairytail that her parents had told her when she was a kid. She met her soulmate, that was for sure. But where was the instant feeling of love? All Sana felt was that she was lost. Maybe those were just exaggerated stories made by adults to give children a false sense of hope.

But that can’t be, she’s seen the scene happen before. She remembers how sparks would dance in their eyes as the world would stop for the two soulmates. She’s seen it, so why didn’t she experience it? Why was all of this happening? 

Sana felt sick, she needed to tell someone. A friend, someone who knows what it feels like to meet their soulmate.

She needs to tell Nayeon and Mina.

* * *

“Woah, hey. You look weird. Do you have a hangover? I don’t remember being invited to a party last night.” Nayeon says, greeting Sana by holding her by the shoulders. Sana definitely looks out of it, stumbling over her steps as she takes in the world of colors around her. Mina nods in agreement, lightly pressing the back of her palm on Sana’s forehead as she checked if she had a fever. Sana takes a deep breath in and stares at her friends for a moment. Wow, geez, they were prettier with the hues on them. Sana had to shake off that thought as she tried to formulate a coherent sentence.

“I just met my soulmate,” Sana starts, and the two immediately choke on their own spit. Sana is then barraged by questions, unable to answer them one by one because her friends were speaking over one another.

“What?!”

“Are you serious?!”

“Who were they?”

“Are they cute?”

“Oh my gosh, you’re totally blushing right now!”

“C’mon then, tell us the juicy details!”

“You kissed, didn’t you? You look pale as a ghost, you two definitely kissed!”

Sana had to shut them both up by lightly forcing her palms to their mouths. “Slow down, I don’t know what happened either.” Her friends look quizzically at her for saying this. “What do you mean?” Nayeon asks as Mina tilts her head at her. “Wait, if you met her soulmate, then what are you doing here?” Nayeon continues to ask and Sana has never wanted to shove a sock into her friend’s mouth so bad. “I know that you’re aiming for that perfect attendance record, Sana. But you just met your soulmate! Aren’t you supposed to be like… on a date with them right now? Try to get to know them?” Mina continues for Nayeon who nods along. Sana could only sigh, biting her lip as she grits her teeth. 

“That’s the problem.”

“What is?”

“I don’t think that she met me.”

The two look at her again, trying to process what she just said. “I know that it’s weird,” Sana continues, sighing as she stares at her hands. “But I was the only one who had a reaction to our first contact.” The three friends stare at each other for a second, trying to understand the situation. If anything, Sana just wants the world to swallow her whole right now. This was definitely too much for her, God knows if she did something wrong. Can you even mess up a soulmate encounter? Sana’s heard of a few goof ups, sure. But she’s never heard soulmates lose each other. It’s hard to lose a soulmate when you two stare at each other for a few moments, taking in the sight as colors bled into your world. 

Nayeon is the first one to speak, taking Sana’s hand as she looks into her eyes. “Are you okay?” She asks, and somehow, Sana wants to tear up right then and there. She sucks it up and nods her head. “I’ll be fine, we just need to find her. She shouldn’t be too far.” She says until she’s rudely interrupted by all three of their watches beeping. “Shit.” Nayeon grumbles. “We gotta go, we’ll talk about this later, okay?” Nayeon says and all Sana could do was nod. With a quick hug from the both of them and promises of meeting each other at the social lounge, the couple was off in their way as Sana had to make her way to her own class.

“God damn it, Minatozaki. What’s going on?”

* * *

Sana sat at their common table, waiting for her friends as she looked at her surroundings. She definitely looks like she’s on some kind of drug right now with her wide-eyed looks and astonished face. Her morning may have not been so great, but she never knew that the sky was that beautiful. She tries to not think about her soulmate, tries to not think about how they just walked away like nothing happened. She does this as she waits for her friends, which they soon do as they catch up with her with snacks in hand.

“So, how are you so far?” Nayeon asks, stealing a few portions of Sana’s fries as she sits down.

“When you said that the sky was pretty, I didn’t think you were serious.” Sana says, her eyes practically glued to the blue sky that was above them. Nayeon smiles and so does Mina, they’re both glad that Sana was finally learning how to stop and appreciate the moment for once. 

“Don’t stare too much, the sky’s a bit brighter now that you can see colors.” Mina says as she takes out her journal. It was filled with random notes and doodles that Mina would write during class hours. Sana leans over as Mina opens up a new page. “What’s that for?” She asks, and Mina clicks on her pen. “A game plan, we gotta write down everything that you remember about her.”

“Everything?”

“Yup, down to the moles.” Nayeon says, popping the “p” as she lightly pokes Mina’s mole on the side of her nose, making the younger girl giggle a little. Sana fakes a gag, but she smiles right after because she finds them cute.

“Anyway,” Mina says, recovering from her flustered blush as she diverts her focus to the task at hand. “What does she look like? Your soulmate.” Sana then goes silent after that, looking up at the sky as she recalls the moment from five hours ago.

Sana was rushing when she got out of her house. The girl spent too much time having shower thoughts and she was already about to be late. Her roommate had already left her, so she didn’t have a ride to the campus. Sana thought about borrowing the bike that her roommate owned, but she soon remembered about not knowing how to ride it so she just went for her last option; the subway. Sana was known for being early, she was even aiming for the perfect attendance award that they would hand out at the end of the school year. It wasn’t much, but any award that she could bring home to her parents would always be appreciated. Sana’s card wasn’t being accepted at the counter, so by the time the train was arriving, she had bolted out of the cashier station to try and catch it. There were a lot of people in her stop, most likely because she lived in the business side of town. She finds herself bobbing and weaving through the crowd just so she could catch the train that had stopped to take in passengers. Sana was nice, but she can’t deny that she had to nudge a few people out of the way as they got out of the cart.

She was already half-way inside the train when suddenly, a pair of big brown eyes were staring right into her eyes. Sana has never been so mesmerized by someone in her entire life, and that’s when Sana realized. 

She just met her soulmate.

Sana will remember that face anywhere. She had short brown hair and pouty lips that she wanted to kiss right then and there, a nose that perfectly fit her round face, a hand that she could hold forever, a stature that’s so small (disregarding the fact that they’re basically the same height) that makes her want to hold the girl in her arms, and those eyes. God, those eyes. Sana feels like she could stare at those orbs for the rest of her life. 

Sana is lost in a trance as she remembers the girl from the train vividly, smiling as time seemingly stopped for the both of them.

Clicking fingers then obstructed her from thinking any deeper, making her look away from the sky and instead turn to Nayeon. “Earth to Sana? You there?” Nayeon asks, and Sana nods, albeit delayed by a few seconds. Her friend sighs and points at the paper. 

“Don’t tell me that you forgot what she looks like.” 

“What? No, never.” 

Sana then begins to relay what she remembers about the girl’s features. She tries to say all of this without sounding so whipped, but seeing the shit eating grins from her friends’ faces tell her that she’s doing a horrible job. This continues on for about half an hour until Mina finally has every detail written down letter by letter based on what Sana had told her. 

They all cringe as they read it.

“Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but your soulmate looks basic.”

“She isn’t!”

“Short brown hair, average height, brown eyes? Sounds like Mina’s mom.”

“Hey!” Sana grumbles as she stares back at the paper after giving Nayeon a death glare. “She’s special, you don’t understand.” She was, at least to Sana. She was the most glorious thing that the girl had set her eyes upon. Maybe that’s just the soulmate effect, but Sana isn’t willing to budge. The girls could only sigh as they stared at the paper. 

“Maybe I can ask one of my art major friends if they could give us a sketch of this girl.” Mina offers and Nayeon nods in agreement, making Sana agree as well. The three sit there for a while, Mina and Nayeon quietly chatting as Sana is lost in the colors again. Damn, her first day of seeing colors and the sky was already turning a dark shade of what she could only guess is the color gray. She sighs and looks away before scanning her surroundings. What if her soulmate was just sitting right there, only a few couple feet away from her as she longingly searched.

Nah, that only happens in the movies.

Sana shifts her attention to her friends, smiling as she sees Nayeon’s face tint red as Mina sticks her tongue out at her. The color red was a color that Sana had been waiting to see for a long time. People said that it was warm and loving, giving the effect of joy and content. Red is a color that Sana had seen a lot as she wandered around the campus. The pedestrian stop light was red before she could cross it. Mrs. Jeon, who was her favorite professor, had a dark shade of red painted on her lips. Her soulmate, she remembers her wearing some sort of red lanyard around her neck, she guesses that she is indeed a college student like them. Mina has the same red lanyard around her neck, which pops out because the girl was wearing a white hoodie.

Wait.

“Holy shit.” Sana says, catching the attention of the couple in front of her. They look at her, wondering what’s wrong. Sana looks around her again and notices that a few students had the same red lanyard that her soulmate and MIna are wearing.

“Mina, that red lanyard, it’s from this university. Right?” Sana asks, her heart pounding with anticipation. Mina is confused for a few seconds before she answers. ‘Yeah. for business majors. Helps the professors differentiate us on the campus.”

Sana feels like she’s about to throw up. Her soulmate could literally be walking 50 feet away from her right now. Her friends look at her with the same confused look on their faces as Sana tries to formulate the right words.

“My soulmate, she has the same red lanyard. She studies here.”

* * *

The three friends dispersed after that, with Nayeon contacting anyone and everyone in her senior contact list to ask for help. Sana thought it was a bit much, but this was some sort of chaos that Nayeon just was willing to solve, so she obliged and let the search begin. They were looking at a sample size that had about four thousand students in it, with half of those being women. Sana needed all the help that she could help. 

It was impossible for them to find the girl in just one day, but that doesn't mean that they didn’t try.

The plan was this; Nayeon uses her social ties to make their search a little easier, with her friends sending photos of students and showing them to Sana asking if they found the girl. Mina was the one assigned to manually sift through the business majors themselves as she was in the same class, with some help from her other batchmates like Tzuyu and Jennie to widen the search. And Sana? She was an extrovert, so she put that into good use by asking people around if they know everyone with the same features. Word had already started to spread around the campus, and soon enough, it was a full on operation just to find the girl.

Hours pass, and Sana finds herself staring at the warm glow of the golden sunset over the horizon. It was beautiful, and it felt like home. Sunsets were a huge motivation for her to find her soulmate when she was a kid. She watched her parents watch the sunset at the beach, all three of them hand in hand as the gentle breeze of the salty ocean breeze swept by them. She remembers the love in her parents’ eyes as the soft sound of an old love song Sana had forgotten the title of played in the tiny portable radio that they brought along. To her, the sight was perfect. 

It was peaceful, and it was home. Sana couldn’t wait for that moment, yet here she is now. Silent by the balcony, an uneasy smile in her face as she feels the longing feeling in her chest. 

Goddamn soulmates and the feelings they give.

“Got lots to think about?” Nayeon says, leaning over the ledge as Sana kept her eyes on the city in front of them. “Lots.” Sana simply answered, and Nayeon responded by rubbing her back. Nayeon was loud and overbearing sometimes, so Sana appreciates her controlled silence for the meantime. 

“So, what’s your favorite color so far?” Nayeon asks as they walk down the halls, heading out for the day. Sana put some thought to it for a while. There were definitely hues that just felt right to Sana. Red which signified a stop or the hint that may lead her to her soulmate. The green that filled the trees around the campus. Or maybe even the blues that were painted across the halls of the university. There were many colors that stood out to Sana, but only one really stuck to her.

It was the first burst of color she saw.

“Whatever color my soulmate’s eyes were.” Sana smiles, and Nayeon chuckles.

“Whipped.”

The halls were then filled with Nayeon’s boisterous laughter as Sana whined and playfully hit her for teasing her.

(In the distance, Jihyo looks at them with her box full of files in hand. She smiles as she watches them bond before turning the other way to face a dull sunset.

Somewhere in her heart, she feels a tugging that makes her want to follow them, know their name, make friends. But her name is called from the field, so she walks on by and ignores the gnawing feeling in her heart in every step she took.)

* * *

It’s been… Sana doesn’t even remember. It’s been weeks now, maybe a month and a half. The search was still on, and even with Sana and her friends’ perseverance, they haven’t come up with much of anything. Everyday, Nayeon’s juniors (who she had as her mini search team) would come back with updates that they’ve indeed found the girl, but when the said girl was shown, they were mostly just lookalikes. Not the girl with the bright brown eyes that shined under the sun, not the soulmate that made Sana’s heart pound just at the thought of seeing her again.

Sana was enthusiastic, jolly, and optimistic. But with every day that passes that she sees colors without a soulmate to share the thrill with, she feels the energy get teared away from her day by day.

It wasn’t the failed attempts of trying to find the girl, it’s the mere thought that it just seemed like her soulmate wasn’t looking for her.

Sana was already starting to give up, thinking about her options as looks at the world around her, eyes no longer shining as the colors just felt dull when the reason that they weren’t there was missing in action. Her friends seem to take notice in her drop of good mood. Perhaps they just knew Sana too well, or maybe they saw it in her downcasted eyes as she stared up at the blue sky, no longer excited when multicolored planes would pass by.

“Hey, you good?” Nayeon asks, nudging her small box of fries to Sana, urging her to take a piece. Sana simply takes a fry and pops it in her mouth, nonchalantly shrugging as she sighed. “All good, just tired.” The couple only give her a look of pity before resuming in their own activities. Mina and Nayeon had done great help in the search for Sana's soulmate. Yes, their search would usually amount to nothing despite Nayeon’s connections and Mina’s willingness to burst her own bubble just to ask strangers, but they were still there in every step of the way. Guiding Sana in a world full of hues and keeping her spirits up despite the wild goose chase (in this case, the goose was invisible.)

They didn’t make her feel uncomfortable with the pity, but they made sure to let Sana know that they were there. Maybe it’s the bond that the three of them shared, despite Sana being the nation’s third wheel at that point. but it was still nice. 

The three friends sit in silence for most of their time together, all invested in the search and their own lunches. Mina would occasionally giggle whenever Nayeon would play around with her, and Sana would whine whenever Nayeon would take too many nachos off of her plate, but they were still pretty focused on the task at hand.

And that was when Nayeon’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Nayeon answers, wiping away the fry crumbs on her fingers with a tissue. She nodded as the speaker on the other line talked, she asked a few questions as well. It was about Sana’s soulmate again, and it sounds like they found another girl. Nayeon hangs up, thanking her junior and agreeing to go to the location.

“Another lookalike?” Sana mumbles and Nayeon scrunches her forehead, her lips forming a straight line in distaste of Sana’s lack of optimism. “C’mon, I feel like we’re getting close!”

“One step closer to giving up.”

Nayeon smacks her on the arm after that before packing her stuff. “C’mon, they said that she’s currently in Building B but she might leave soon.” 

Sana could only follow the two, her steps heavy and her eyes glued to the floor. She feels it, she feels like she’s about to be disappointed again.

* * *

Despite being able to finally see colors, there’s a lot of things that Sana had started to take for granted a few weeks into her new found abilities. Day by day, Sana would stop staring at the intricate designs of things, no longer giving them much thought as she poured her time into looking for her soulmate. Perhaps this thing she can blame on the lost girl, she wouldn’t be so distracted if she just showed herself anyway.

For that moment however, she chooses to finally look up and stare at her surroundings again. It still blows her mind how light makes such magnificent hues. There weren't a lot of things to be excited about at a college university, if anything, a normal person would call it bland. But to Sana, colors amazed her. She feels the same adrenaline rush when she recognizes colors even with just a glimpse of seeing them. She even has come to like the purple phone case that had different colored stickers on it which Nayeon had stuck on her phone. She used to dislike it, telling Nayeon it looked weird and out of place. Nayeon only teased her and said that she’s just jealous because she can see the different colors on the stickers.

Well, she wasn’t exactly wrong.

She was lost in her thoughts for a moment as she blindly followed her friends into Building B. They called in the nerd wing simply because all the nerds with the high degrees would be there. Even Mina was there, and she doesn’t really approve of the nickname. She says that there’s a lot of interesting people there too, like people who have world changing patents and business proposals. Sounds like what a nerd would say though. 

They soon meet Nayeon’s juniors, and she asks them where the girl was.

“She’s in the library right now, we’ve been waiting for her to come out.” Kim Yerim, one of Nayeon’s closest junior friends, answered. Nayeon nods and thanks them for their work before ushering them to start rushing for their classes. Yerim and her friends leave. leaving the trio to stand in the hallway. 

“So, we just stand here? Like a bunch of weirdos?” Sana says, making Mina chuckle as she sipped on her drink. “No, silly. We’re gonna wait for your soulmate to come out that door so you can kiss her and tell her that you love her and you miss her.”

“I’m not that weird!”

“Your eyes says it all.” Nayeon teases, poking fun at the way Sana’s eyes would light up whenever she’s reminded of her soulmate. Yeah, she might hate her a little bit for just disappearing like that, but deep in her heart, she still felt this tugging that just made her want to meet the girl just so she could wrap her in a warm embrace.

In the middle of her mini daydream, the library doors open and Sana feels her heart thump in her chest.

_“Please be the one.”_

A few students make their way out of the double doors, all chatting happily in their own little bubble with their books in hand. Sana’s eyes searched for a familiar girl as the crowd dispersed into nothing but groups of people she didn’t know. She sighs and shakes her head, and she feels the gaze of her two friends shift to look at her. She doesn’t even need to look at them to know that they’re looking at her with pity in her eyes.

“Let’s go, we’re about to be late for class.” Sana says, feeling her heart grow heavy as she starts walking away down the hall. This was stupid, a waste of time, and Sana was tired. Tired of hoping, tired of seeing colors that are losing their meaning, tired of the same old game of hide and seek. Why can’t her soulmate just find her for once.

“Excuse me?” A girl’s voice then rang out from the head of the hall. Everyone stops and turns, and so does Sana. 

Her world stops as she meets the girl’s gaze.

Oh shit, it’s her.

* * *

Jihyo feels the tinge of awkwardness settle in her stomach as everyone in the hallway stares at her. She’s not used to having this much eyes focused on her. Nonetheless, she shrugs it off and lets go the breath that she didn’t even know she was holding when most of the people had stopped staring. She diverts her attention back to the reason for her call, it’s the group of friends who had left their books on the hallway’s knee wall.

All three of them stared back at her, all sharing a look of confusion but one. One of them looked pale, like she had seen a ghost. Jihyo feels this sense of familiarity with the girl, and that’s when she realizes that it’s that weird girl from the subway station a few weeks back. She’s holding the same bewildered expression. She shrugs it off and just thinks that it’s her default expression. Maybe she just met her soulmate or something.

“You guys were about to leave your books.” Jihyo gestures over to the short stack of accounting books on the brick knee wall. Those were expensive, wouldn't want to leave them just laying around. One of them immediately recognizes the book as theirs and gives JIhyo a quick bow before retrieving her books. Jihyo then bows in return before turning back to go back to her group. She has class in a bit, and she kind of has to go quite far just to get to it. 

She was already nearing the end of the hallway when she heard fast footsteps start to approach her. They were heavy, like the person was desperate to get to her. She ignores it, thinking that they just want to get to the hallway.

That was until someone gently pulled her wrist. She turns around and it’s the same girl that was giving her the weird looks. She stares back at the girl’s eyes and for a moment, and she’s taken back to the memory of meeting her in the subway station. That same wild look in her eyes, the soft grip on her hand. It was almost as if they were stuck in time. Why did it feel so… magical?

“Hi?” Jihyo mutters, half lost in the trance as the girl’s eyes searched for something in hers. She dared not to break eye contact, fearing that she’ll break something that’s delicate. She then sees the girl’s eyes gloss over, almost like she was about to cry. Jihyo gets worried, why was she so emotional? But then, she was pulled into a tight embrace, leaving her frozen in place.

She feels the girl cling onto the back of her sweater as they keep a tight embrace. She stares in confusion at the two friends that the girl was with, asking them a silent question of what was wrong. However, both were too shocked to even help her. So, she does what she does best. She wraps the girl in a comforting embrace, her arms wrapping themselves around the girl’s torso. They stay there, the world oblivious to how light Jihyo felt at the moment. She smells the light fragrance of lavender on the girl’s shirt as she felt her melt into the embrace. It was peaceful. And even if Jihyo was confused, she stayed still anyway, rubbing small circles on the girl’s back.

“I finally found you.”

_Huh?_

The girl chuckles as she lets out a deep sigh, sounding happy. Jihyo was confused earlier, but now she was just lost. Did she owe this girl something? Is that why she was weirdly happy to see her? 

“What do you mean?” Jihyo asks, nervously chuckling as the girl was still latched on to her. The girl giggles and answers. “Silly, don’t you realize? I’m your soulmate!”

Jihyo stops at that point, her eyebrows creasing as a bout of confusion hits her again. What the hell was this about? How is she this girl’s soulmate? 

“I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong person.” She then gently pries the girl off of her, holding her by the shoulders to create some space between them before letting go. 

“I don’t understand.” The girl says, no longer looking ecstatic to see her as her eyes looked into hers again. “Don’t you see colors? You’re my soulmate! I swear!” It was clear that the girl was desperate. She just had that look in her eyes. “I don’t,” Jihyo answers, pausing when she hears the girl lightly gasp as a reaction. “I have a condition, achromatopsia. I don’t see colors.”

They stare at each other for a while, and Jihyo feels like she wants the whole floor to just swallow her whole at that moment. Looking at the girl was like looking at someone who was going through the five stages of grief all at once. 

“Well I do, and it’s because of you. Don’t you feel the same way?” The girl holds her hand, sending an electric wave to Jihyo’s heart.

Jihyo is unable to answer as Sana stares into her eyes. The weird pounding in her heart is back, the push and pull feeling that's begging her to do something.

But then she feels her girlfriend's hand snake it's way to hers, and she's pulled back to the ground.

"I have a girlfriend." JIhyo says, pulling her hand away as she averts her gaze onto anything but her eyes. “We’re soulmates.”

The bell then rings right then and there, and Jihyo is reminded of her responsibilities as a student. She gives the girl one last apologetic bow before turning and going down the hallway again. She knows that the girl is staring at her, but she doesn’t dare look back. She fears that she’d get lost in those dark orbs again. 

(As Jihyo stares at her shoes while they stand in the elevator, she feels this dull ache in her chest. It burns, but not in a way that JIhyo would really do anything about. Well, it’s not like she could do anything about it. It just felt really heavy like a string was wrapped around it, tugging it down. But where to?

Jihyo is reminded of that girl’s sad eyes. Sana, was that her name? It was the name that she heard when the girl’s friends started ushering the girl out of the hallway, as a scene had already been made. Why was the girl so attached to her?

And why did Jihyo feel so guilty for leaving her behind?

“Orange is a good look on you.” Her girlfriend then says, making her smile as she looked at her. “Really?” She asks and the girl nods. “You should wear it more often.”

They share a sweet silence after that, but Jihyo doesn’t forget about Sana. She’s right at the back of her head, staring right at her all over again.

They then reach their stop and step out. They’re about to head to different wings, as her girlfriend was a dance major.

“I’ll see you at home then?” The girl says, leaving a kiss on the top of JIhyo’s head. Her lips lingered for a little more before the last warning bell rang out.

“Of course, Momoring.”

They head their separate ways after that, promises kept as they let go of each other’s hands.)

* * *

The days that followed after the incident were quite hindersome for Jihyo. Not only was she in some sort of conflict with her mind, as it’s telling her to do something, but Sana has been oddly persistent in proving her point. She has no clue how Sana even got her number, but she remembers going home a few days after what happened to an inbox that had a few of Sana’s messages.

_[Train Girl] , 6:37pm]  
Hey, this is Sana._

Jihyo bites her lip as she contemplates whether or not she should reply. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with it, maybe she just came to apologize.

_[Jihyo , 6:50pm]  
Hey, this is JIhyo. What’s up?_

The reply was instantaneous, it was sent before Jihyo could even put her phone down. Had Sana just been staring at her phone, waiting for a reply?

_[Train Girl , 6:50pm]  
I just wanted to apologize for the confusion that I caused the other day. _

_[Jihyo , 6:52pm]  
It’s fine, I understand. I hope you find your actual soulmate soon. _

It was odd, how did Sana even lose her soulmate? Weren’t soulmates supposed to be somehow tied with each other no matter what? That’s what she stood by anyway, that’s what she was taught after all. She shrugs and puts her phone away, thinking that it was the end of their conversation. She looks up at the clock and sees Momo would be home at any minute now. 

“Right, pasta.” She says as she remembers Momo pouting at her, saying that she wants Jihyo’s signature carbonara. She heads to the kitchen, ready to prepare the dish to have it ready for dinner. 

She was already cooking the white sauce on the pasta when Momo had arrived, silently entering the house to hug her from behind. Jihyo feels herself melt in her girlfriend’s arms, their lips connecting with each other for a moment before Momo’s fingers tickled at her sides. She squeals and squirms away, but Momo was pretty strong, lifting her off the ground as Jihyo laughed in her arms. 

These were the moments where Jihyo feels really content, happy, and full. 

“Home so soon?” Jihyo asks, her face now buried on Momo’s neck as she takes over the stove. She feels Momo hum as they sway to a beat that wasn’t there. “I just missed you.” She says, making Jihyo blush. Thank God she had her face hidden, she was as red as a tomato at that moment. Momo had been like that lately, choosing to go home early and being a little more clingy. Jihyo wasn’t complaining though. In fact, she even enjoyed the extra attention. She always feared that they would lose their spark in the middle of their three year relationship.

They settle into the evening by eating their pasta on the couch, choosing a random show to play in the background as they just melted in each other’s embrace. Momo gets up soon though,getting wine for the both of them. It was already the end of the week, and they didn’t really have any plans for the next day. Jihyo loved these nights, with just Momo by her side as they drowned themself into each other’s gaze, a show in the background speaking in a language that they didn’t understand.

They were already on half of the wine bottle, with their tops discarded on the floor as they drowned in each other’s kisses. Both in the moment, distracted by their touches. Jihyo hears her phone ding from the coffee table, sighing Momo kept her lips on her. Her phone dings again, and Jihyo lightly presses her hand on Momo’s lips. 

“What is it?” Momo asks, still diving in to kiss Jihyo’s neck. Jihyo breathes a heavy sigh in response, pointing at her phone. Momo chuckles and takes the phone, opening it to see who’s ruining their moment. Momo sits up and so does Jihyo, with the latter tilting her head as Momo read over the notifications. “Well, who is it?” She asks, and Momo shrugs before placing it back on the table. She shushes JIhyo’s question with another languid kiss, smirking as she feels JIhyo melt in her arms.

“Nothing of importance.” She answers, before turning the phone off and kissing JIhyo into the night.

(Jihyo wakes up hours later, the moon shining down on them as they lay on the couch. She grabs Momo’s sweater that had been discarded on their living room floor before going to the kitchen to get a cup of water. The night was a blur, but she’s somehow reminded of how her phone had buzzed in the middle of their business. Not thinking much about it, she picks up her phone from the coffee table.

In it, she sees a few messages from Sana.

_[Train Girl, 8:36pm]  
About that, can we talk?_

_[Train Girl, 8:36pm]  
I just… I just don’t understand. But you have to believe me when I say that it’s you._

_[Train Girl, 8:37pm]  
Can we at least talk about it?_

_[Train Girl, 8:37pm]  
Let’s get coffee, my treat, anywhere you want. Just tell me when and where, okay?_

_[Train Girl, 8:40pm]  
...Good night, Jihyo. Sweet dreams. _

* * *

Jihyo dreamt of nothing that night. Maybe a few faint sounds, but it was just the usual dreamless sleep that she’d always have. Still, Jihyo wakes up and remembers the text. She left it on read, having her future self worry about it. The problem is that she is constantly living as her future self, making her constantly think about it. She chooses to push the thought into the back of her head instead, knowing that she can just think about it in another day. She’s sure Sana wouldn’t mind giving her some time.

She moves on with her life, the same monochrome world greeting her in every second. 

“Hey, you’ve been missing lately.” Jeongyeon, who was Jihyo’s childhood friend, says as they took some notes for the class. Well, actually, it was mostly just Jihyo taking notes. Jeongyeon would just take the scans from her notes. It wasn’t ethical, but it was efficient. Jihyo looks at her and shrugs, not really thinking much about it. "Momo and I have just been hanging out a lot lately, I guess.” She says, making Jeongyeon scrunch her nose at disgust. Jihyo rolls her eyes. “Not like that, silly.”

It was more of cuddling, really. Or just breathing in the same space. Whenever Jihyo would try to leave, Momo would urge her to stay. Pouting for cuddles and just wrapping her in a hug. She even did the groceries for them that week, making Jihyo just stay home to clean the house. Maybe Momo was just feeling clingy, but she would be lying if she didn’t feel like she was a little too tied down.

“Well, still. I understand though,” Jeongyeon says, twirling her pen as their professor continued his discussion. “I heard about what happened last week.” The little scene that Sana and Jihyo had caused last week had kind of turned into the talk of the town. It wasn’t some big scandal or anything, but it was quite rare to see someone lose their mind in the middle of a populated hallway. “Yeah, I don’t mind though. Maybe she just had a tough week.”

“But didn’t she say that she was your soulmate?”

Jihyo looks up at Jeongyeon, remembering the same words that Sana had muttered that day.

Silly, what a silly thought.

Jihyo only chuckles as she shakes her head. “You know that I already met my soulmate, Jeongyeon. It’s Momo.” Her friend only gives her a brief look after that, a sign that she agrees with her statement but has nothing else to say. They sit in silence for a moment, both focusing on what their teacher had to say. But JIhyo remembers last night, and not because of Momo, but because of the texts she got. 

They sit in silence for a while, it lasts until the bell rings and they’re dismissed for the day. They pack their stuff and head out the door, side by side as they walk down the hallways. Jihyo remains silent as Jeongyeon walks by her, her eyes focused on where she’s going. To her left was a huge window that overlooked the city, the bright glow of the warm sunset hitting them both as they head to the stairway. The thought of colors plague her mind once again, making her think of the doe eyed girl in her inbox.

“She’s asking me on a coffee date.” Jihyo says, making her friend hum out in reply. Jeongyeon is silent for a while, thinking of the situation in her head. “I don’t think that there’s harm in accepting it.” She says, making Jihyo turn her head to look at her. Jeongyeon gives her a lopsided smile before looking away. She sighs and shakes her head, thinking that accepting the offer would just make things worse. 

“I don’t want her to hope for nothing.”

“Then show her that it’s nothing.”

They reach the lobby floor and into a less populated space. “What do you mean?” Jihyo asks, stopping to look at Jeongyeon for a second. Her friend only shrugs at her. “Look, if she really thinks that it’s you, then that’s her problem. But you have to set the record straight here. Not just for you, but for whoever her soulmate is.” Jihyo hates the fact that her friend is making a lot of sense right now.

“But what about Momo?”

“I’m sure that she won’t mind.”

(Jihyo remembers how Momo said that Sana’s texts were nothing of importance, but she pushes that thought away.)

They reach the end of the hall and Jihyo sees Momo at the end of it, looking radiant as she looks at the sunset glow behind the buildings. They bid goodbye after that, with Jihyo promising to send her a scan of her notes for the day before running to the girlfriend. Momo’s eyes shine as she spots Jihyo in the crowd, her arms quickly enveloping her in a warm embrace. Jihyo lets it happen, she lets her arms wrap around Momo’s waist as a natural reaction. They stay still for a while before Momo pulls away and cups her face. 

“Let’s go home?”

“Yeah, let’s.”

* * *

(It was the same routine for that night. Eat dinner, be with each other in the living room as they finished their assignments, watch the new episode of their favorite drama, then get ready for bed. Momo was the first one to retreat in their room, telling her that she’s tired. Jihyo stays in the living room for a while, watching some documentary that she barely cared about.

She was tired, but her mind wasn't ready to sleep yet. Her thoughts lingered on the texts in her inbox, and she’s reminded of what Jeongyeon had said earlier.

“There’s no harm in doing it, right?” She asks herself, her finger hovering on the send button. She then looks at Momo from the open bedroom door, watching her sleep in their bed. She sighs and shakes her head, but right before she closes the app, a strong urge tells her to just send it.

So she does, oddly feeling no regrets as the message is sent and immediately left on read by Sana.

_[Jihyo, 11:11 pm]  
Okay, meet me in Double Cafe tomorrow by 5pm. _

_[Train Girl, 11:11 pm]  
Is it a date?_

_[Jihyo, 11:12pm]  
No. _

Sana takes it as a date anyway.)

* * *

If you were to ask Sana when was the longest day of her life, she would say that it was this day in particular. Days were always too short for Sana, always not enough time to socialize and frolic, with the evening moon coming too soon to put everyone to bed so they can move along with the next day. But this one just felt agonizingly long. Sana can’t help but check her watch as every minute passes, her foot tapping nervously as the seconds tick down the time. 

“Sana. The more you check, the slower it goes.” Mina says, chuckling as she snaps Sana out of her own trance. Sana just gives her a sheepish smile, putting her phone down to focus on her lunch. “I can’t help it, sorry.” She says and her friends only smile at her, both out of adoration as they haven’t seen their friend smile that bright in a while.

Sana had told them about their little coffee date last night, but she left out the part where Jihyo had refused to call the whole thing as a date. Both were supportive and even helped her pick out a fancy little denim outfit to go along with her style. She really couldn’t ask for better friends when she already has Nayeon and Mina.

The day soon passed on and as the final bell rang, Sana was already bolting out the door. Double Cafe wasn’t too far from their campus, maybe about a 10 minute walk. But Sana’s excited brisk walking got her there in 5. 

She quickly looks around, scanning the room for those familiar eyes and - Bingo, there she was, sitting by one of the booths as she looked out the window. For a moment, Sana is frozen in place as stares at JIhyo from afar. With the warm orange glow of the sunset hitting her side profile just right, it was as if she was a gift from the gods. It was quite the sight, making her want to melt into a puddle right then and there. But then, she feels her legs move on their own, bringing her to Jihyo who had just realized that she had arrived.

“Hi.” Sana meekly says, her voice small as she feels her hands shake. Jihyo only flashes her a smile, a smile that she can’t read as they stare at each other for a moment. Sana breaks the silence between them by clearing her throat. “You’re here early.” She says and Jihyo nods. “My last class ended 30 minutes ago.”

Sana stood there again after nodding, slowly getting lost in the moment as she stared at Jihyo. The gods seemed like they were in a good mood when they made her. With her round face and warm eyes, anyone would fall at the sight of Park Jihyo. She was just… perfect. And she was right there just for Sana to hold. 

Sana was taught some manners, so she forced herself to look away to look at the menu. “Well, what coffee would you like? It’s my treat.” This leaves Jihyo to think for a while, looking up at the menu to scan her possible options. She settles with an americano and Sana is quick to buy her one.

Sana comes back to their table with two cups of americanos in hand, both venti in hopes of making a lot of time to spend with Jihyo. They sit in silence for a while, both drinking their own cups as they search for the right words to say. For Sana, it was enough that Jihyo was right in front of her, within arms’ reach as they settled in the corner of the cafe. But it just looks like Jihyo had something to say.

“Look, about this whole soulmate thing-”

“Jihyo.” Sana says, stopping the woman as she gently held her hand. Jihyo looks at her, her eyes filled with confusion as she waits for her to continue. Sana only sighs. “We can talk about this later, can we just try to know each other for now?”

There’s hesitation in Jihyo’s eyes, but she accepts and nods along, letting the conversation flow between them.

In that small space in the corner of the cafe, they get to know each other a little more. They knew each other’s name and majors, it was hard not to after what had happened. But a lot of things were discovered in the small time that they were together. In the time they were together, Sana never knew that her soulmate would be someone as cheeky and ambitious as Jihyo. She finds out that she was a business major because of her dreams of becoming a successful store owner one day. She says that she wants to give back what her parents had done for her, and that she wants to have a bright future for her and her future family. Sana gets to hear about Jihyo’s pet cat who she missed and how she was thinking of just bringing her to the city once she graduates. Jihyo wasn’t the only one who opened up as Sana shared about her stories as well. Jihyo laughs as Sana tells the story of that one time where she fell off a bicycle and flew like a superhero in slow motion. She shares that she misses her grandma who always sends her letters just to check up on her, reminding Jihyo of her own grandparents who lived in the province.

In that small moment, they felt in sync. Same thoughts, same feelings, both with happy smiles on their faces as they forget the subject of their coffee date. There are times where Sana would just get lost in Jihyo’s smile, feeling her heart flutter as Jihyo’s eyes crinkle into crescent moons. It was perfect, they were perfect. But all things come to an end, and Jihyo was already done with her coffee as Sana meticulously tried not to finish hers. 

Jihyo looks out at the window and sighs, realizing how dark it had gotten. Sana watches her gaze at her watch before biting her tongue and letting the realization set in her. She doesn’t want this to be over, not until she has Jihyo’s trust. So she risks it, going over the boundaries of an afternoon coffee date.

“It’s late and I’m kinda hungry, do you wanna get some ramyeon before we go home?”

Jihyo is taken aback for a second and Sana immediately feels the rush of anxiety pump through her veins. She shouldn’t have asked that, she should know that she should’ve ended this earlier. 

But Jihyo answers with a smile and a nod, making the butterflies in Sana’s stomach flutter like crazy.

“Sure.”

* * *

Both spent their dinner laughing and smiling as they shared more stories, lost in time as they ordered more food (and some food to take home as well.) For that moment, JIhyo forgets the reason why she was with Sana in the first place. She was just having so much fun, and the push and pull feeling in her heart had finally calmed down. In that small amount of time that she gets to be with Sana, she feels this unfamiliar yet warm feeling settle in her chest whenever Sana would smile at her. 

For a split second, she believes in Sana’s crazy testament about her being her soulmate. But that thought is soon forgotten when Sana had started to choke on her noodles after laughing so much. 

The night soon ends and Sana stays by Jihyo in the bus stop, both sharing a steady silence as they’re the only one there. Jihyo knows that Momo has texted her that night, but she ignores it for now. She doesn’t know why, but she just follows her gut and lives in the moment.

“I hope you had fun.” Sana says, bursting the bubble between them. Jihyo looks at Sana and finds herself lost in her eyes for a moment. Eyes had been her favorite part of anybody’s body, they just said so many things that a word cannot express. 

At that moment, Sana’s eyes expressed warmth. Warmth that can only be found in love and genuinity. 

She gives her a small smile and nods, knowing that she'd be lying if she said that she didn’t. 

“I really meant it, you know?” Sana then says, making JIhyo turn to look at her with curiosity.

“Really meant what?”

“When I said that you’re my soulmate.”

The word hits Jihyo like a bombshell and she’s stuck in Sana’s gaze, frozen in time as Sana looks back at her with no hint of a lie in her eyes. As they stared at each other, Jihyo just had two questions.

Why was Sana so damn persistent? And why was she starting to believe her?

Sana seems to feel the tense air between them, her hand making it's way to Jihyo’s like the way it did when they first met on the train. Jihyo doesn’t move, feeling her limbs freeze as her heart beats heavily in her chest. She feels Sana’s burning touch on her face when Sana cups it with her palm, her face inching closer as she leans into her lips.

The kiss that they share feels magical, and Jihyo loses herself in cloud 9. 

Jihyo lets herself melt into Sana’s lips, both moving automatically as she closes her eyes. Sana’s lips were soft, like they were melting into hers. They tasted like that cheap cherry lip balm that Jihyo had used years ago, and she liked it.

She liked it so much that she started to forget the reason why she was so against this in the first place.

Sana was the one to pull away, her eyes still half lidded while Jihyo had to inhale sharply. 

“Do you believe me yet?” Sana asks, and Jihyo feels disoriented.

“What?”

“I’m your soulmate, Jihyo. You gave me colors.”

_Fuck._

Jihyo feels her knees buckle under her. Her hands immediately recoil away, leaving Sana confused. 

“No.” She says, stern as she feels a lump form in her throat. This was wrong, this was so wrong. She shouldn’t be doing this. Sana was- No, she wasn’t. Her soulmate is Momo, her girlfriend is Momo. Momo, not Sana. Never Sana, never her.

Jihyo steps back when Sana tries to hold her hand again, her eyes showing a hint of fear and guilt. She feels angry, angry at herself, angry at her actions. “You’re not my soulmate.”

“But Jihyo-”

“Just stop!” Jihyo doesn’t know why she yelled, but it felt good. Her emotions were spilling over, making her lose all rational thoughts as she shook her head. “You’re not my soulmate, Sana.” She says, her voice shaking as Sana’s eyes glaze over. She doesn’t care, she shouldn’t care. Her heart shouldn’t feel heavy as she’s doing this, but it does. “Just get over your delusions and accept that it isn’t me.”

The air is thick and heavy as they both stood there. Jihyo had to look away as making eye contact with Sana just felt like a sin in of itself. The bus soon arrives, waiting for either of them to just get in it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this with you.” Jihyo says, shaking her head as she steps further away from Sana. “I hope that this is the last time we have to discuss this. Please, find your actual soulmate.” And with that, Jihyo leaves Sana in the bus stop, her own heart aching for a reason that she just can’t explain.

The bus ride home was a blur, her thoughts racing as she tries to forget the feeling of Sana's burning touches on her skin. 

Jihyo soon gets home, hesitating to go inside. She stood by their front door for god knows how long, her heart racing at the thought of what had happened during that night.

But then, Momo’s voice calls out from inside their apartment.

“Just come inside Jihyo, I know that you’re there.” 

She feels her heart drop, freezing in place when she hears that. A few moments pass before the door then opens, Momo greeting her with a concerned smile. “I saw you on the doorbell monitor, love. What’s wrong?” She asks and Jihyo has never wanted the floor to just swallow her whole. She gulps and clears her throat, her eyes threatening to glaze over as Momo stared at her with those unreadable eyes.

“Is it because of that girl?” Momo asks as she wraps Jihyo in a hug, feeling herself tense up at the slight mention of Sana. Jihyo looks up at her, eyes wide in fear but Momo only gives her a weak smile. “I saw you in the cafe together.”

“She told me that I was her soulmate.” Jihyo says, feeling the guilt creep down her gut as she presses her face on Momo's shoulder. Her girlfriend only hums and brushes her hair.

“And did you believe her?”

_For a moment, I did._

“Of course not.” Jihyo says, her tone serious yet laced with such force like she was trying to prove something. Momo cups her face and smiles, kissing her forehead and brushing their noses together.

“That’s the only thing that matters, Jihyo.” Momo says as she kisses her, their lips immediately moving in sync with each other. It was muscle memory.

“I’m your soulmate, and you’re mine.”

And that was the supposed truth.

(That night, Jihyo takes a long shower. She feels dirty, dirty with what she's done. Dirty for what she's feeling. 

She tries to rinse off any trace that Sana had left, no matter how invisible it was. But it was no use. No use when she remembers how Sana's eyes would disappear whenever she would laugh, accompanied by her high-pitched laughter that just made Jihyo feel light and happy. It was no use forgetting the look in Sana's eyes as she shouted at her, telling her to stop. She's going to remember it now, stuck in the back of her head, waiting for a slip up just so it could present itself again. 

Jihyo is cuddled by Momo that night, her buff arms being the perfect cushion for Jihyo's thoughts. 

If only Jihyo's fingers didn't linger on her lips, making her remember cloud 9 before she falls asleep.)

* * *

Jihyo’s life has been silent ever since what happened that night. Fully expecting a barrage of messages from Sana, Jihyo decided to leave her phone at home for the whole day and only hang out in small spaces like the library. There was no way that she was going to run into her, Jihyo would rather sacrifice a few minutes of her time by taking longer routes rather than having to see Sana again. It was harsh, but with the kiss and Jihyo’s questionable feelings to it, she was willing to go an extra mile just to avoid her.

She took her bike that day, vowing to never take the subway unless necessary. Yet, she still passes by the station and her eyes linger for a moment before she pedals away.

“What’re we doing in the library?” Jeongyeon asks as she picks up a few books from the bookshelf, scanning it’s contents before adding it to her pile. Jihyo bites her tongue, hesitating on whether she should tell her best friend about what had happened. 

“Nothing, just thought that the lounges were a bit messy today.” She lies, and Jeongyeon only nods as she takes her seat. They spend their time idling in the library. Catching up on homework and any extracurriculars. Jihyo wasn’t really a busy student, so Jeongyeon took notice of her just sitting there and playing with her pen.

“Park Jihyo.” She asks, giving Jihyo a stern look that made her gulp in fear. 

“Yes?” 

“You’re avoiding someone, aren’t you?”

Bullseye. Jihyo feels her heart stop for a moment, giving Jeongyeon her answer. Her friend only sighs and closes her book. “Do you owe someone money? Is it a loan shark? I swear to God, if you’re in debt-”

“It’s Sana.”

“What?” Jeongyeon says, confused as Jihyo only sighs. Then she proceeds to chuckle, shaking her head. “Was the date really that bad?” She asks and Jihyo is unable to answer. It wasn’t a horrible date. In fact, Jihyo had fun. It was great to be with someone who smiled like they’re the main source of energy in the world. Jihyo remembers Sana’s kind smile when she held her hand that evening in the coffee shop, not pushing anything and letting them get to know each other first. So Jihyo shakes her head, Making Jeongyeon even more confused. Her friend urges her to continue, nodding her head at her with a curious stare.

“She told me that I’m her soulmate.” Jihyo says, remembering the half-lidded look that Sana gave her after their kiss. “Well, that’s what she was there for anyway.” Jeongyeon says. “Didn’t you set it straight with her?” 

“I did.” Jihyo says, looking away when she remembers yelling at Sana. Her throat feels dry now.

“So what happened? Surely she understands, she looks like it-”

“She kissed me, Jeongyeon.”

The air is still for a moment as they both share a look. Jeongyeon’s eyes remained widened at this as Jihyo’s eyes only showed a hint of guilt. Jeongyeon sighs and holds Jihyo’s hand, feeling it tremble on hers. “It’s not a big deal, Jihyo. It was just a kiss.” She says, giving Jihyo a small smile as Jihyo nods.

“You’re right, it doesn’t mean anything.” Jihyo lies, taking a deep breath and nodding to herself as she lies.

No big deal, Jihyo. No big deal.

* * *

Sana hasn’t been the same after what happened. Even when Jihyo had left, she was still in the bus stop, silent as she sat there and thought about what she had done wrong. She approached the whole situation delicately, letting Jihyo take the lead as she simply listened to what she had to say. Was Jihyo’s bright smile and avid laughter just a facade? Was she just tolerating her so she could go home to Momo early? That can’t be the case, she stayed for ramyeon. She stayed despite the corny jokes that Sana would drop. All her questions lead to one thing, and it was the kiss. That damned kiss, why did she do that?

She groans and buries her face into her hands, Jihyo’s voice echoing in her head. She needs noise, she needs to drown it out. She needs someone. She grabs her phone from her bag, her eyes blurry as she presses the speed dial.

It calls Nayeon, the storm that keeps her going in every turmoil that she’s faced.

A groggy voice answers, asking who it was. What time was it? Sana looks at her watch and realizes that it was nearing midnight. Nayeon must’ve been asleep, and that also meant that she had been sitting there for hours. She stays silent for a while, biting her lip as static is heard from both lines. Until Nayeon spoke, realizing that it was Sana who called. “Sana, what’s up? Why’d you call?” She asks, shuffling is heard from the background as Mina groans in her sleep. 

“Babe, shut up..”

“Shh, Sana’s calling.”

Sana feels her throat tighten as she grips on her phone. Tears were already threatening to spill down her cheeks, her breath getting heavier by the second as Nayeon asked her what’s wrong. 

“She hates me, Nayeon.” Sana says, her voice shaking as the rain falls outside the bus stop. Nayeon hums out a confused tone, sounding concerned when she asks Sana what she means. Sana’s hands shake as she bites her tongue, trying to muffle her sobs.

_“Just stop.”_

_“You’re not my soulmate.”_

Sana’s heart feels like it’s been stabbed with a knife, tears spilling down her cheeks as she feels it break over and over again. 

“Sana, where are you?” Nayeon asks, a jingle of car keys heard from the background as heavy footsteps follow. Sana doesn’t answer for a while, letting her heart cry out in pain when she sees the dark clouds pour down in front of her. Nayeon snaps her out of it, sounding stern yet concerned as she hears the car engines roar to life.

“Sana, tell me where you are.” She asks, softer this time. And Sana answers, meekly as she catches her breath.

“Bus stop by the foodcart. You know which one."

Nayeon hums, but she doesn’t put the phone down. She drives there, letting the radio accompany Sana until she arrives.

When Nayeon picked her up from the bus stop, She was silent. Nayeon respected it, not pushing any further. They soon reach Nayeon’s apartment, and Sana is ushered inside. “Why are we here? Why didn’t you just take me home?” She asks, her throat still dry as she hugged herself from the cold. Nayeon only sighs as Mina opens the door for them, a concerned look visible in her eyes. 

“Just treat it as a slumber party.” Nayeon says before leading Sana to go inside.

Sana tells them about what happened that night. From the highs and lows, the happy moments and the somber ones, and most importantly the kiss. Her friends only listen to her as she rants, crying into their arms as she feels her heart break into pieces when she remembers how Jihyo backed away when she tried to hold her hand. 

“What if she really isn’t my soulmate? What if I’m just a stupid idiot who lost my real soulmate in the crowd?” Sana says, despite remembering that it was only the two of them who made any sort of contact in that train cart that morning. Nayeon shakes her head at this, combing her hair over her ear to stare at her. “First of, you’re not stupid.” She starts. “And it’s impossible to lose your soulmate in a crowd, Sana. Don’t you remember how Mina and I met?” Sana nods, remembering that story because Nayeon had been telling everybody she meets about it.

They were freshmens back then, new to the college scene as they attended back to back parties just because their seniors invited them to it. At that time, Mina and Sana were two close friends who seemed to never be able to separate from each other. But then, that party came and soon enough, Sana lost Mina in the crowd. She doesn’t mind though, knowing that they’ll be together by the end of the party. It was a wild one filled with drinks and fun people, giving Sana the chance to socialize and meet different friends that she’d bring along with her in the following years. 

A couple hours passed and it was already getting late, and Sana had thought that it was about time that they went back to their dorm. She searches for Mina in the thick crowd of people, soon finding her by a corner and urging her to come back home. Mina was a lightweight, making her drunkenly swoon as Sana led them to the exit. 

But then, Mina seems to have caught on something. She stops in her tracks, making Sana stop as well to look at her.

“Are you okay?” She asks, but Mina only gives her a wide eyed stare as she cups Sana’s face.

“Woah, you have pretty eyes.” Mina says, making Sana blush but still tilt her head in confusion. “What do you mean?” Sana asks, and that’s when Mina is struck with a sobering realization. She then proceeds to unlatch herself from Sana’s hold before making her way back through the crowd, searching for a face that she’s never seen before. Sana is forced to chase after her, but there were just so many people. She loses her in the crowd in a matter of seconds, making Sana sigh and shake her head.

But then, the crowd moves away and reveals Mina’s location. She was in the middle of the dance floor, wrapped in someone’s arms as they shared a kiss. The crowd realizes what was happening and so does Sana. Her friend had just met her soulmate, despite the sea of heavy crowd between them. Sana still remembers the crowd hollering that night, cheering for the lovebirds that had met on that dance floor.

“It’s impossible to lose your soulmate in a crowd.” Mina says, holding Sana’s hand as she snaps her out of the flashback. Sana only looks down, letting silence envelop the three of them as she silently agrees.

“She hates me.” Sana says for the nth time now, making her friends sigh and shake their heads. “You know that’s not true.” Nayeon says, trying to reason with her as Mina quietly brushed Sana’s hair. Sana remains silent, her eyes already running out of tears. Her throat ached from all of the sobbing that she had done, and she was honestly just tired. She closes her eyes and feels Mina shift as they all lay down next to each other. With two arms wrapping around her, Sana feels solace in the warm embrace of her two friends.

“What do I do?” Sana mumbles, her voice small yet persistent as she tries to find a way to talk to Jihyo. The two stay silent for a while, and Sana begins to think that they just fell asleep. She chooses to close her eyes, wanting to fall into a deep slumber so she could escape from the thought of Jihyo’s constant denial.

“I think that you should talk to her.” Mina then says, and Sana looks at her. Mina only gives her a small smile before she cups her face, wiping away the stray tears that were left over. “Just one last time, as civil as you can. I think the kiss just startled here.” Mina continues with Nayeon humming in agreement, her eyes already closed. The room is silent after that, with both of her friends falling asleep as Sana laid there to stare at the ceiling.

_“You’re not my soulmate.”_

Sana closes her eyes, tight. She feels the prickling feeling in her eyes again, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. But she stops it, she stops it by thinking about tomorrow.

_I’ll talk to her, just try to convince her. That should work._

* * *

The morning soon comes and Sana wakes up to Nayeon’s arms around her waist. The girl was still asleep, a bit of drool coming out of her mouth which makes Sana chuckle a little. This takes the attention of Mina who was in the kitchen, cooking a quick batch of breakfast for them. She gives Sana a small smile before returning to the stove. Sana sighs and lays back down, feeling her head throb. That was the result of an endless night of crying, but it was all worth it. She got it out of her system, she’s ready to face Jihyo one last time to convince her once and for all.

She gets up and goes to one of the drawers to grab some spare clothes that she had left over at their place before heading in for a shower. She lets the water rinse out her pain as she takes some time to meditate. In the back of her head was Jihyo’s voice shouting at her, begging her to leave her alone. Sana tunes this out by listening to Mina and Nayeon bicker from the kitchen.

Once she’s all done and ready, she exits the shower and gets dressed, borrowing a hairdryer to speed up the process. MIna cooked musubi and eggs for everyone, which all of them enjoyed. It was a silent breakfast, but the air wasn’t tense like Sana expected it to be. After the state that she had met them in last night, she was expecting them to walk on eggshells around her, but they kept mum as they all minded their own business.

Nayeon drives them that day, and that’s where Sana begins to feel nervous. She remembers how it ended for her last time. She was alone in a bus stop as the rain poured down on them. So she looks outside now, trying to keep her mind off of it. What she sees is a beautiful sight. The sun had just gone up, making Sana’s surroundings feel warm as it hit her window. It was raining pretty hard last night, but it seems like the clouds have let go of their weight and made pretty shapes in the sky. Things were getting brighter for Sana, she started to have hope as she stared at the pale blue skies.

They soon arrive on campus, and dozens of students are already there. With each group minding their own business, Sana follows her friends into the main hall.

“So, what’s the plan?” Nayeon asks, looking around as they stand in the corner, not having much to do. Sana sighs as she scans the crowd, looking for the same familiar face. “I’ll just talk to her and you two can… watch, I guess.” She says, and the couple nods. They stand there for a bit, idly chatting as they watch the sea of students enter the building.

And then, Mina spots the girl.

“It’s Jihyo.” She says, getting Sana and Nayeon’s attention as she nods her head to a specific direction. They all turn their head and immediately spot her. She was wearing a white top with her skinny jeans, eyes shining under the morning sun. It was hard to lose her in the crowd now, especially when Sana feels this sense of gravity between them. Nayeon gives her a final nudge, making her legs move on their own once again as she makes her way through the crowd.

Sana’s steps were light and calm. She was here to make peace and talk, not force a battle to make Jihyo believe her. Her eyes were focused on her, reminding her of the time when she first met Jihyo. Her heart feels light when she remembers her laughter, that loud yet somehow elegant laugh that just made the butterflies in Sana’s stomach act up. 

But then, an arm laces itself on Jihyo’s, making Sana stop dead in her tracks. 

It was Momo, and she was staring right at her.

Jihyo took no notice of this as Sana stops dead in her tracks, frozen as her heart beats heavily in her chest. Momo looks away and turns her attention to Jihyo, giving her a smile which makes Jihyo smile too. Sana feels her heart sink in her chest, deeper into her guts and crushing the butterflies that once fluttered around. Her throat feels tight as she feels gravity start to pull her down, the colors around her getting brighter to the point where Sana just has to close her eyes. 

_“Just get over your delusions and accept that it isn’t me.”_

Sana balls her fists before turning the other direction, briskly walking away from the sight.

“Sana, hey!” Nayeon shouts as she starts to lose them in the crowd. But Mina catches up, holding her by the arm which makes her turn to face her. Tears are threatening to spill over her eyes again, her lips quivering as she shakes her head and pulls her arm away. “Just leave me alone.” She says before disappearing into the crowd.

Mina and Nayeon let her be after that, knowing that it’s better to leave her alone.

Sana finds herself in a bathroom stall moments later, sobbing as she clutched at her chest. For years, she dreamed of meeting her soulmate. She had a whole list of things to do. Go to an art gallery, watch the sunset, and be together as colors explode and fill the sky on new year’s eve. But now, it was all gone. Her soulmate was in somebody else’s arms, her lips leaving hers without ever getting the chance to kiss them one last time.

Someone else, an impostor, was living out her dream, and she can’t do anything about it but cry because she loves her soulmate too much. She doesn’t want to pry and hurt her, Jihyo already made her thoughts clear; She was not Sana’s soulmate, even with the evident spark in Sana’s eyes now that she sees the millions of shades of color around them.

* * *

Sana lives out the next few weeks in some sort of autopilot state. She would still attend her classes, half-ass her work, and eat lunch with her friends, but she wasn’t the same Minatozaki Sana that they knew. Gone was the optimism and bright smile on her face. Sana had grown silent, not speaking unless spoken to which was so unlike her as she was the one who had a lot of stories to tell. To Sana, life had utterly lost its meaning. The colors that sparked around her only hurt her now, reminding her of a dream that she can’t live.

Her friends had taken notice of this change and have tried to lighten up her life. Bringing her to noraebangs, seeing art galleries, watching the lanterns fill the sky in one festival. They tried to show her that she didn’t need a soulmate to be able to enjoy colors, she only needed company. But after Sana told them to stop trying to live out her dreams with her, they just let it be, knowing that Sana will come around sooner or later.

It just took time, and maybe only a little push. 

She hasn’t seen Jihyo in a while. Even when she tried, she was just nowhere to be found. It’s like she lost her again. But this time, she’d rather stop looking than get her heart broken all over again. 

Sana just gave up, knowing that pushing it won’t do her any good.

“Hey.” Nayeon says as she sits down next to Sana. Sana tunes out a low hum at her, lost in her phone as she watches some random YouTube video. Nayeon looks at Mina and the girl only gives her a weak smile, urging her to continue. Nayeon nods and clears her throat, trying to catch the attention of their friend. Sana hears it, but she pretends that she didn’t as she moves on to another video. Nayeon begins to grow impatient at this, biting her lips before deciding to unplug Sana’s earphones. Sana groans at this, giving Nayeon a death glare as the girl only gives her a bunny toothed smile. 

“What is it now?” She asks, her eyebrows knit in frustration. 

“Are you going to the party?” Nayeon asks, sipping on her boba as she waits for an answer. Sana is confused for a while, tilting her head and looking to the side as she tries to remember what she meant. There have been a few things on Sana’s mind lately. School, bills, Jihyo- Okay, but a party had slipped her mind. She looks back at Nayeon, asking her to elaborate. Her friend smiles at this, feeling some sense of achievement as she catches Sana’s interest.

“Y’know, party at Wang’s!” Nayeon says, smiling and cheering as she imitates a small party dance. Sana rolls her eyes and shakes her head. She remembers now, it was the party that the two of them had been begging Sana to attend. 

“It’s a waste of time, Nayeon. Besides, I have projects to finish.” Sana says, grabbing her earphones back and plugging them back to her phone. But then, Nayeon stops her by holding her hand. “That’s not true,” She says, Mina nodding beside her. “You already finished them last week at our place, remember?”

 _Crap._ Sana sighs and shakes her head. “I’m just busy.” She says, trying to get out of the situation. BUt her friends were already giving her puppy eyes, begging her to just agree for once. She thinks about it for a moment. When was the last time that she had partied? Was it two months ago? Three? Who knows, but Sana feels like she hasn’t had a single drop of alcohol ever since her last party. Alcohol had always been a great friend of Sana’s, boosting her confidence and giving her the liquid courage to make new friends. Maybe it’ll help her with her feelings now, drowning out her sorrows as she lives the party life once more.

“Fine.” Sana says, earning cheers from her friend as they give her a big hug. She feels herself tense up at this, but she lets it happen, melting in their embrace as Nayeon promises that it’s gonna be the best night of their lives.

“It better be.” Sana says, holding on to that promise as she thinks of how she would drown sorrows away.

The week soon ended and it was the night of the party. Sana had her affairs done, quickly finishing the day to head home and plan out her party outfit. She picks something casual, knowing to dress lightly with her leggings and simple white crop top. It was going to be a rough night, if things go as Sana had planned. 

Nayeon picks her up at eight, with Mina already in the front seat looking dazzling as ever with her light make-up and casual get up. Nayeon looks the same, but with a bit more flare as she wears a spaghetti strap dress. They all start their pre-party drinks in the car, MIna and Sana downing a few shots as Nayeon drives. She was their designated driver for the night, and the plan was set out before they even got their.

Meet a few people, converse, dance, and get shitfaced.

Mina was hesitant to follow the plan, but Sana was willing to push through with it.

They soon arrive and are immediately greeted by the host himself.  
“Jackson!” Nayeon squeals, giving the man a hug as he welcomes them to the crowd. The guy smiles and gives Sana a nod, already hearing about what had happened to her. The four of them talk for a little, as Nayeon and Jackson were childhood buddies back in their old elementary school. Sana is lost in the conversation for a bit, especially when she gets handed her first shot of vodka. 

For a moment, Sana feels herself loosen up a bit, slowly forgetting about the colors around her as she starts drowning herself in alcohol.

It had been hours to the party now and the couple had decided that they should disperse. Jackson had left to greet other guests, leaving Sana with some of her juniors to party with. They got there early, which means that a lot of people had yet to come.

Sana downs her nth shot of vodka as she sits on a couch with some of her friends. She watches a group play beer pong as the party goes on around them. With loud music blasting from the speakers on the DJ Booth and disco lights lighting up the whole house with rays of colors, the party was a perfect example of what a Wang Party really was: A mess that no one can control, and a feeling that can never be forgotten. Sana has to give it up to that friend of theirs, he truly was the king of all parties. 

Sana begins to let the music consume her, moving to the beat as she's handed another shot. This was part of the plan, to get shitfaced and forget. It was working well, Sana was beginning to lose herself, slowly letting her sorrows slip away as she began to be herself again; Minatozaki Sana, life of the party, the girl with the brightest smile. 

But she feels this presence in the room, a presence that sends shivers down her spine. She tries to cough it up as some sort of drunken effect, so she lays off the vodka for a bit.

Until she saw those eyes.

* * *

Momo was quite an impressionable person. She had a lot of friends and she was part of a dance troupe in their university. It was only normal for her to get dragged into parties. But this one in particular she just had a bad feeling about.

Her relationship with Jihyo had been on the rocks lately. Jihyo had been down lately, refusing to talk to Momo about it. Momo lets it be, knowing that prying wouldn’t work. But seeing her get lost in a trance everyday was really starting to affect Momo.

She was starting to feel guilty of what she had done.

This party was the last idea that Momo had, hoping that it’ll lift Jihyo’s feelings up even for just a little bit.

She just never expected Sana to be there.

Jihyo was the first one to notice Sana, immediately freezing as the both of them stared at each other. There was this lingering tension between them, making Momo stop and stare as well. Sana’s eyes darted from Jihyo’s to hers, making Momo’s mouth dry as she recognized that look in her eyes.

It was the look of desperation.

But then, someone pulls Sana away, shielding her from them and taking her away. Momo recognizes this person as Jackson Wang. They watch him take away Sana into a different room, rubbing her back as he gives them a brief look before disappearing into the crowd. 

Does he know what she had done? 

Momo ends up putting this thought away as she leads Jihyo into another room, one filled with drinks and their friends. 

“Momo, hi!” Chaeyoung says, moving over to give them a seat on the couch. The two gladly take it along with the shots of liquor that they’d been handed. JIhyo only smiles at them, but Momo knows that it wasn’t genuine because it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She decides to hold her and gives it a light squeeze, earning a small smile from Jihyo as she nods at her.

They stay in that small corner for a while, drinking and chatting with each other as they soon begin to forget what had happened hours earlier. Momo was half drunk now as Jihyo was definitely out of it, cheering as Dahyun and Chaeyoung danced to the music in sync. Momo smiles and joins along, letting her body feel the rhythm to match her juniors. For a moment, she sees Jihyo's bright smile. One that lacks the melancholic look that she's had for the past few days. It's working, Momo thinks. Sana was just another road bump. She feels her heart let go of the weight that it's been holding, releasing all the tension that's been holding her down. 

That was until she bumped into someone.

She quickly turns to apologize, and the person apologizes back. They both lift their heads up and immediately make eye contact. Momo knows this person, and it takes her a bit to realize who it was.

“Mina!” Dahyun exclaims, throwing herself onto the girl who gives her a hug. Beside her must’ve been Nayeon, giving all of them a tight-lipped smile as she makes brief eye contact with Momo. Jihyo remains oblivious to the whole thing, singing with Jeongyeon as the party continues around them. 

“Come sit with us.” Chaeyoung says, ushering the two to sit over at the bean bags on the corner. They hesitantly sit down, eyes avoiding Momo’s as she sits across them. The circle falls into a light conversation between the four friends, with Momo and Jihyo casually listening along. 

But Momo can’t help but feel the stares burning into her skull, especially when she gave Jihyo a kiss on the lips when the girl had pouted for it.

“Excuse me for a moment.” Momo says, feeling the thick air flow between them as she stood up. Jihyo clung on to her for a second, showing off her puppy eyes as she pouted at her. Momo sighs and kisses her forehead, promising to be back before she even realizes it. 

She makes her way through the crowd, tipsy as people partied around her. Her chest is tight as her lungs feel like they’re about to explode. Feeling claustrophobic in the living room, she chooses to find the nearest balcony. She navigates through the crowd and soon finds one of the open rooms. She knows that there’s a balcony there because this certainly wasn’t her first Jackson Wang party.

She enters it and sighs, feeling light as she holds onto the railings. She can breathe now that she’s outside and away from Sana’s friends, but she’s not quite sure on how she’s going to get back. She feels a spark of anger burst in her, frustration running wild as she realizes how bad everything has gotten.

This certainly wasn’t part of the plan. She never expected everything to fall through like this. Jihyo was hers and it was perfect. She can see colors, she can play it off. It’s just that Sana had to come and ruin everything for her.

She sighs and stares out into the city, letting her anger boil over as the party raged on without her.

Then, the devil arrives.

* * *

Sana had been wandering the party for hours now, lost and alone despite meeting up with a ton of friends. Jackson had left her moments ago, telling her to just take it easy after she had cried on his shoulder for half an hour. She accepts the margarita that was handed to her, silently making her way to the party.

It was a pretty crowded one, which was understandable as their university had just won a basketball championship. Almost every student was there, and that stands to reason that Jihyo and Momo would too.

What was she expecting? It was only fate that’s dragging Sana closer to Jihyo despite her attempts to forget her. That was just how soulmates worked. It’s just that someone had to interfere.

She sighs and shakes her head, downing her drink in one go before looking around. From a distance, she recognizes a few people. There were some juniors that she was friends with and a few batchmates, but Sana felt like she wasn’t quite ready to be with anyone yet.

And that’s when she sees Momo making her way through the crowd.

In problem solving, one must know the cause of the problem. In some cases, they must interfere with it.

So even if Sana feels heavy and beaten, she decides to put a brave face on to meet the imposter. 

Sana enters the balcony right after Momo did, her heart eerily still as she stands next to her. Momo seems to acknowledge her, earning a stare as she sipped on her drink. 

“I know what you did to my girlfriend.” Momo starts, a hint of anger in her voice. She must’ve been talking about the date.

 _"My girlfriend."_

Sana's hand tightly clenched her glass, feeling the anger start to make its way through her veins. 

“I know that you’re not her soulmate.” Her reply was instantaneous, a new found confidence revealed as she finishes her liquid courage. It must've taken Momo off guard because the girl was silent before she was able to answer. 

“Excuse me?” Momo says, head slowly turning to look at her with anger rising up her throat, venom setting on her tongue. Sana only looks at her, a sharp glare that makes Momo flinch. She hopes that Momo can feel her pain at that moment. 

She eyes Momo for a bit, looking at her and realizing how pitiful she was.

“I can see it through your mismatched clothes.”

She looks away after that, getting a look at Momo’s guilty face.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Momo says, trying to pick up her fallen pride. Sana only scoffs at her, smirking at how desperate she was. “Yes I do, you know that.”

“She loves me, Sana. There’s nothing that you can do about it.” Sana feels her heart clench at this, remembering the look of fear and guilt in Jihyo’s eyes before she had ran off into the bus. Sana knows that she was trying to poke holes into Sana’s facade, but she won’t let her.

She feels awfully sober as she turns to face her, seeing the look of frustration in her eyes. 

“You look pathetic, Hirai Momo.” Sana says, and Momo swings at her. Sana expected that, quickly catching her hand before it had reached her face. “It makes me wonder when you’ll finally break.” The fire in Momo’s eyes had died out, quickly replaced by fear as Sana kept a tight grip on her arm. Is this what it really was? Was this the girl that has been ruining everything for her? Sana feels a new found burst of anger spark within her, making her clench her jaw as she stared daggers at Momo’s eyes.

“I’ll wait for that day to come. And when it does,” Sana slowly lets go of her hand, letting her anger settle down instead. “I hope that you feel the same sorrow that I had felt.”

* * *

Sana left after that, leaving Momo on the balcony to think to herself. She stood there, the bass from the speakers thumping at her feet, making their way to her hands. She grips the balcony railings, feeling her legs turn into jelly as a deep weight settles deeper into her stomach.

She remembers running away, leaving it all. She remembers the first time she met Jihyo, getting the malicious idea to trick her when she found out that she had the opportunity to. Momo looks at her past and sees nothing but a sick and awful person.

Momo runs to the bathroom before she even falls apart, ignoring the annoyed outbursts of the drunk people that she had shoved out of the way to get there. She locks the door shut and immediately kneels beside the toilet, hurling her guts out as guilt and fear nestled their way into her stomach. Her eyes prickle as she grips onto the sides of the toilet, tears slowly falling down her cheeks as she heaves for air.

This wasn't the effect of the spiked punch or the shots she had downed earlier, this was just the effect of her sins catching up to her.

It takes Momo a few moments to be able to pick herself up from the floor. She finds her way to the sink where she meets her reflection on the mirror. She looks like a mess right now with her red puffy eyes and slightly tinted face, colors fading from the corner of her eyes, losing the soulmate effect that she had once before. She could only laugh bitterly as she feels her own heart ache as the realization catches up to her.

“You can’t give up on me now.” She mumbles, broken laughter erupting from her throat as she feels her mind race a million miles per minute. 

Sana's voice soon starts to echo in her mind, replaying like a broken tune that makes Momo's head throb. She has heard a lot about Sana in the short time that she knew her, but it felt like she met someone completely different. Sana was known to be the brightest person in the campus, radiating an aura of happiness wherever she went. A charitable culinary arts major who would do bake sales to help the local orphanage. But that look, that glare, it was so cold. The Minatozaki Sana that everyone knew was lost, stuck in a pit of sorrows as Momo lives out her dream. Now her plans were failing, her own soulmate was beginning to give up on her and Sana was starting to break down the walls that she had carefully built around Jihyo. After years of denial, Momo was beginning to realize the negative effects of her lies and how they’re beginning to fall apart quicker than sand in an hourglass. She laughs bitterly, tears streaming down her face as guilt sets in her bones. 

Momo's a terrible person.

She opens the faucet and lets the water run down the sink before cupping them with her hands and splashing them on her face. She keeps on doing this, almost like she's trying to wash some kind of dirt away from her face. Like she's hoping that somehow, in some way, the water drowns her and she sinks into the depths of her fears.

She'll take anything to escape.

* * *

Sana wanders around the party, lonely as she takes more shots from the bartender’s makeshift counter. Every step she takes feels heavy, like a heavy metal ball is chained around her ankles. That confrontation with Momo took the life out of her, making her sink back into the pit that she had tried so hard to climb out of. Here and there, people would try to converse with her, check up on the sunshine girl who seems to have lost her spark. She’d fake a smile, nod along to anything, accept any drink that’s been handed to her in hopes of it being strong enough to have her blackout drunk again. She wishes that she never approached Momo, cause now she was just broken and sober again. Forever reminded of the fact that there just doesn’t seem to be a chance of her having her dream snatched away from that impostor. But it felt like it was needed, that she really had to face the dragon itself. She saw the fear in Momo’s eyes, knowing that she’s realized that she’s in too deep and that she’s caused so much pain to Sana.

Sana can only wish that she has shame.

Sana feels like she’s about to pass out when she finally finds her friends sitting by a large sofa. They were chatting, both stuck in their little bubble like the world didn’t exist around them. Sana envied it. She envied how happy they were. How they’ve been so carefree enough to not worry about a single thing anymore. She envies how they both have each other as a reason to get up and see the colors every day, both in each other’s embrace as the hues colored the world around them. Sana wishes that she saw gray instead, missing how the monochrome world gave her more happiness than this painted mess in front of her. In colors, you see more than you were presented. You get to see the good stuff, but you also see the bad shades of people. You realize that not every color is good and that not all of them are for you. In a world of colors where you’re all alone, the warm lights fade as the cold seeps in to envelop you in it’s embrace.

Sana decides to go home despite stumbling on her steps down the stairs. Her dorm wasn’t too far, only a few streets away and safe enough to travel alone. She hugs herself as she walks down the sidewalk, feeling cold as she does her drunken walk of shame. She stumbles a few times, having to hold on to a fence every now and then, but she was pretty sure that she was halfway home when she reached the first stoplight. She looks up at it and across the street, seeing that the pedestrian stop light is flashing red despite the empty road in front of her. There was no reason to stop, there were no cars to pass. But these stupid colors, they just have to mean something. Sana feels a bitter chuckle erupt, so she laughs. She laughs until she’s on the ground, tears falling heavily down her face as she hugs her knees. She laughs until her stomach hurts and her head starts to ache. She laughs until her laughs turn into pained sobs, the smile on her face quickly being replaced by a frown.

She called Momo pathetic earlier, but here she was now. She was crying on the sidewalk, cold and alone with no one to hold.

Sana quietly wept to herself, not noticing the flashing headlights of a car that had stopped right in front of her. A person then steps out and starts to approach her slowly as Sana makes no mind of them. She doesn’t care, she could get kidnapped for all she wants. She just gives up, shaking her head as she hides her face into her hands as she continues to cry. But then, someone holds her by the shoulder, shaking her a bit to ask her what’s wrong. Sana recognizes the voice immediately; Chou Tzuyu, her junior who had helped her in bake sales back then.

“Sana? Are you okay?” Tzuyu asks, confused as to why she was on the floor in the middle of a sidewalk. Sana couldn’t answer, her lips quivering as she looked up at her. She looks at her with a worried expression, tilting her head as she wipes away her tears. Sana shakes her head before throwing herself at her, crying on her shoulders as the girl hesitantly wraps her in a hug. They sit there for a while, the flickering light of a lamppost illuminating them as the music from Jackson’s party is heard a few meters away. Tzuyu only stays silent through the whole thing, rubbing Sana’s back as she lets it all out. After Sana runs out of tears, she quietly asks her if she could just take her home, and she willingly obliges.

The car ride home was silent, with the radio playing soft classical music from some midnight sleep radio station. Sana feels calm, the weight from her shoulders gone as she threw most of them off on the sidewalk. She still carries some of it, feeling it pulling and tugging on her heart the farther they are from the party, but she ignores it, only listening to how Tzuyu was about to pick up her friends from the party as their own designated driver. She never pried about anything, filling in the silence of their conversation by simply telling her about her day. Sana would nod along here and then, smiling whenever she would make the effort of making a joke.

They soon reach her dorm and Sana exits the car, insisting that she’ll be fine but being forced to be escorted by her up to her room. They make their way up the stairs, slowly as Sana feels the world sway in each step she takes. They soon reach their destination, Sana fumbling on the keys the girl stood there to sit and watch.

Then, an awkward silence.

“Well, you better get going.” She says, faking a yawn as she opens the door. Tzuyu only smiles and nods, giving her a chuckle as she gets in.

“You have my number if you need me.” She says and Sana smiles, nodding at her before closing the door. 

Sana hears the footsteps outside her door get farther and farther, signifying that Tzuyu had truly left and that she was now all alone. Sana was now blindingly sober, her walls radiating a shade of yellow which only makes Sana’s head hurt more. She tries to ignore Momo’s voice in the back of her head as she showers, taunting her as the look of fear in Jihyo’s eyes stares back at her.

That night, Sana had a dreamless sleep, her world spinning as the alcohol in her system makes its final hit. She only remembers one thing before she falls into the dark abyss, making a stray tear fall down her cheeks as she falls asleep. 

It was Jihyo’s eyes, crinkled at the sides and happy as her voice echoed from far away.

* * *

The night of the party soon passes and everyone starts to move on with their life. Jihyo was brought home by Momo that night, both sharing a feverish kiss as they made it into their apartment. Jihyo doesn’t remember the rest, only feeling Momo’s hot lips on hers as they finish for the night. She’s never been so drunk before, never been so free yet so confused.

She’s had this feeling ever since she met Sana, the same pulling sensation she feels in her chest whenever she’s reminded of those bright eyes and high-pitched laughter. It’s basically haunted her now, but Jihyo soon learns to ignore it.

Weeks pass and life goes on, normality taking over once more as Jihyo spends her time drowning herself in her daily life. 

Soon enough, Sana begins to turn into nothing but a passing thought in Jihyo’s mind.. A person to worry about before forgetting about them a second later. 

Not a soulmate like she kept on saying that she was, but a stranger she met on the train.

So Jihyo sleeps another night, wrapped in Momo’s tight embrace as she expects a dreamless night or another monochrome memory.

(She dreams of the ocean blue instead, with the yellow-ish sand under her feet as the waves ticked her toes.)

* * *

Jihyo wakes up in a heaving mess, her head pounding as flashes of orange and blue rattle her brain. She searches for Momo, a hand to hold, only to be met with an empty side and a cold bed. So she hugs herself instead, trying to hold on to the fading memories of the first shade of colors that she ever sees.

Then they disappear, forever lost in Jihyo’s mind as they turn monochrome upon remembrance. 

Jihyo sinks into her comforter, dazed as to what just happened. It takes her a few moments to catch her breath just so she can move forward with her day.

Whatever the hell that was, Jihyo had already forgotten about it when she stepped out of the apartment with her bike beside her. It was as if it never happened, non-existent as Jihyo passed by the subway station without a word. 

“Hey.” She says as she greets Momo with a hug. The girl gives her a lopsided smile before burying herself into Jihyo’s embrace. Momo has been awfully silent lately, shaking her head whenever Jihyo asks her if anything’s wrong. Always on her phone, immediately checking it when a message comes. She says it’s just an online order that she’s been waiting on for a long time, so Jihyo lets it be. They sit in each other’s arms as the university slowly floods with students, all going into their own groups. Jihyo shields her eyes from the bright morning sun, feeling a little more annoyed by it that day. The feeling felt familiar, a small headache building up on her temples as the light shined from above. She hides in Momo’s shoulder, sighing in confusion as she tries to pinpoint it’s cause. Could it have been that weird dream? It definitely didn’t feel normal. 

Despite not remembering a single thing about it, Jihyo lifts her head up to tell Momo about it. 

“Babe-”

“Momo! Hey!” A loud voice greets from the hallway, and both of their attentions are immediately caught by it’s bearer. It was Seulgi with the rest of the dance troupe following her like a herd of sheep. Momo stands up to greet the girl, both wrapping each other in a short embrace and a smile. But then, Seulgi pulls away and gets a good look at Momo, her forehead creasing as if she was confused.

“Is green our theme color today?” She asks, her eyes giving Momo a curious stare. Momo shakes her head, saying that Tuesdays were blue days. 

“Then how come you’re wearing green?” Seulgi asks and an awkward settles itself between them. Jihyo looks up at Momo who had a frozen expression, mouth slightly agape as she tries to understand what’s happening. Then, an awkward laugh, with Momo playfully hitting Seulgi’s shoulder. “It must’ve slipped my mind, silly me.” She says and Seulgi nods, smiling at the situation, 

“Well, we gotta go. We don’t have enough time for warm ups.” Seulgi says before leading the rest of the group down the halls, all continuing on with their discussion. Momo breathes out a sigh and Jihyo looks up at her, giving her hand a light squeeze as she gives her a small smile. Momo simply smiles back, much more strained than earlier before giving Jihyo a quick kiss before running off to catch up with the rest of the troupe. 

Jihyo just moves on, knowing that they can talk about it later.

But later never seems to come.

Everyday, Jihyo would dream the same dream and wake up the same way. Momo would either be away from her or deep asleep, too sunken in her dreams to acknowledge her rattled girlfriend as she wakes up from her own. Sometimes, Jihyo feels like they’re drifting apart, but it just doesn’t seem like it. She would hug her tighter lately, like she was afraid to let go and lose Jihyo. She’s been stricter too, igniting a few arguments here and there whenever Jihyo would go out without letting her know. 

“Babe, I’m going out for groceries.” Jihyo says as she puts her shoes on, folded eco bags in her hand as she approaches the door. Momo makes no sound, and Jihyo sits still to listen for a bit. She hears the soft beats of an urban hip hop song play from the speakers in one of their free rooms, so she simply takes the grocery list from the fridge, thinking that Momo was busy practicing again. 

Jihyo pedals her bike in the streets, looking around and admiring the park that sat right in front of their apartment. Things have been brighter lately, brighter than how they usually were. It was why she was suffering from light sensitivity lately, a side effect of her condition that she thought she had outgrown. She’s gotten used to it lately, admiring how things weren’t as dull as they used to be. 

Maybe her and Momo’s soulmate effect finally found their way into her system. The question is why did it take so long?

Jihyo chains her bike before entering the grocery. There weren't a lot of things on the list, so Jihyo made quick work of it so she could be home early. She grabs ingredients for that night’s dinner along with some stock of food for the next week. A few household items here and there, and Jihyo was at the counter ready to pay for her things. She softly hums to the pop music playing on the speakers, looking around as she waits for the cashier to finish with her stuff. 

Then, the shivers. The grocery’s automatic doors open and in comes Sana with her hoodie up and a pair of earphones on her ears. Jihyo’s world immediately stops, her eyes lingering on the girl and noticing how deprived of life she looked. Memories of their coffee date remind Jihyo of Sana’s bright and sunny aura, her smile happy and warm as they made her eyes crinkle at the sides. Sana was now just a husk of what she was, both eyes on the ground as she grabbed a push cart.

“Ma’am?” The cashier asks, tearing Jihyo’s eyes away from Sana. Jihyo looks at her quizzically, mouth still agape as she’s pulled out of the trance. The lady then gestures over to the small line that has formed behind her, a group of random people who were eyeing her suspiciously. She feels heat rush up her cheeks as she picks up her stuff, bowing in apology before dashing out of the grocery store.

Jihyo makes her way to her bike and quickly stores the groceries on the front basket, peeking at the store to see if Sana had chased her there. She lets out a sigh when she realizes that she didn’t, feeling the once numbed feeling tug at her chest again. She’s done a good job at avoiding her like the plague, cutting corners just to be in less crowded halls that had more chance of having Minatozaki Sana in them. Maybe she was over it, maybe she actually found her soulmate and had decided to stop bothering her.

But she looked so sad, like a kicked puppy in the rain. 

Jihyo shakes these thoughts away, quickly pedaling home as she spots the dark clouds start to cover the sky. 

She makes it home right before the rain starts pouring, immediately going inside to greet Momo with a warm smile. She was hoping to make some wings that night, knowing that they were one of Momo’s top favorites. Maybe that would help ease in a conversation between them, maybe Momo would finally tell her what’s been on her mind. But she sees Momo breathe out a sigh of relief once their eyes meet before she retreats into the couch, lost in her own world again. Jihyo eyes her suspiciously as she goes to the kitchen to start preparing their dinner. She’ll talk to her later. 

Jihyo makes quick work of their dinner, making sure it’s extra flavorful just so she could coax Momo into giving her a genuine smile. She sets it on the coffee table along with two bowls of rice. Momo looks away from the TV to look at her, a confused look in her eyes. Jihyo simply smiles before giving a kiss on the nose, grabbing her own bowl of rice to begin eating dinner. They both eat in silence with news playing on the TV. Neither of them talked, and both for different reasons. Jihyo wanted Momo to be the one to open up first, and Momo? Hell does she know. She only feasted on her own food as they both aimlessly watched the news.

The silence was unnerving, and it was driving Jihyo insane.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Jihyo says, trying to keep the frustrated tone away. Momo looks at her with an unreadable expression, searching for any hint of anger in Jihyo’s eyes before she nods and answers, putting her bowl down on the table as she finishes. “The wings taste great babe.” She says before wrapping Jihyo in a warm embrace. Jihyo could only oblige to wrap her in her arms as well, hesitantly rubbing at Momo’s shoulder as the girl laid on her lap. This was one of Momo’s tactics in avoiding a conversation, and Jihyo isn’t sure if she should let it go one more time.

But then, Momo’s phone dings and the girl immediately jolts up to grab it, reading over the notification and groaning when she realizes that it was just from one of her games. Jihyo can feel the exhaustion and frustration burn inside Momo as she leans back on the couch, silent as she keeps her eyes on the TV.

This time, Jihyo steps in.

“You have to tell me what’s wrong, Momo.” Jihyo says, holding Momo’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. The older girl stares at her for a moment as if she was holding something back. But she settles on the same old answer. “I’m fine, just tired.” She says as she tries to lay on Jihyo’s lap again, but Jihyo doesn’t let her. She holds her square by the shoulder, looking deep into her eyes with a pleading look on hers. 

“Just tell me, I won’t be mad.”

They stare at each other for what seems like eons, and Jihyo sees Momo’s eyes glaze over. She takes a deep breath, fully expecting Momo to break down. However, she didn’t expect Momo to kiss her right then and there, passion on her lips and lust on her tongue. Jihyo tries to push Momo away, trying to talk to her instead of getting lost in her lips. But she feels Momo’s grip on her sides, she feels that she’s yearning. They’ve been deprived of each other’s touch for a while, both lost and dazed as a wave of confusion hit their once easy going relationship. Jihyo tries to stop it, tries to reason that the leftover chicken wings would get cold, but Momo sucks her in like liquid, and Jihyo is addicted.  
Damned be the chicken wings. 

Jihyo gives in. She gives in like she always does, letting herself fall into Momo’s arms in hopes of it working to get her to talk to her again.

The night soon ends and they find themselves tired on their bed, both too sore to move as the moon illuminates their room. Jihyo turns to Momo, thinking that she would talk by then, but she lets it be when she sees her asleep. She looked so peaceful, so free of the problems that she won’t tell. So Jihyo sleeps instead, hoping for a night’s worth of good rest to have energy in the morning.

(Instead, Jihyo dreams of the plague.

Jihyo dreams of Sana in full color, memories of their date flashing in Jihyo’s mind as the hues painted the world around them. Sana’s eyes were so bright, so easy to get lost in. Her skin, her face, she was radiant as the sun. She remembers the pinkish color of her lips, feeling them move against their own as she inhales Sana’s lavender scent.

She remembers the same bright eyes staring at her with pain, tears threatening to fall over before Jihyo even gets the chance to leave.

Jihyo wakes up with a start, her heart nearly bursting out of her ribcage as she tries to catch her breath. Momo stays asleep beside her, and she can’t help but remember the two nights differently.

Her fingers go up to her lips, feeling the dried skin poke out as she stares at the woman beside her. She remembers how Momo’s kiss was full of power and desperation, almost as if she was trying to prove something. And then there were Sana’s lips, soft as ever as they tasted of cheap cherry lip balm. It was slow and gentle with Jihyo taking most of the lead.

Like she was just telling her to just take her, love and accept her for who she was.

And that’s when Jihyo realizes that the dream never slips her mind, Sana’s colors imprinted in her thoughts as she sat under the moonlit night.)

* * *

Morning came and Jihyo was still awake, unable to sleep as millions of thoughts ran through her mind. She decided to get up and take a shower that morning, her fingers roaming around the skin that Momo’s burning fingers had touched. In a sense, it felt wrong. It felt wrong that she turns to jelly with Momo’s touch, caught under a spell that she can’t quite get out of. It was intoxicating to the point where Jihyo felt trapped within the four corners of their home.

So she decides to run, her jog turning into a sprint as she reaches the sidewalk. She tries to ignore her aching legs and lungs that were screaming for air. She just keeps running, music drowning out the outside world as it blasted from her earphones.

She ran so far that she didn’t even realize that she was by the same cafe that had appeared in her dreams that night. The memory flashes in her mind again and she sighs, looking by the empty table where they had sat down for hours. There it was again, the same heavy feeling tugging on her heart as she felt glued to the ground. Why was it every time that she remembered Sana, she felt it? She was supposed to be a stranger, not a person to avoid. She can’t make sense of her feelings anymore, overwhelmed as the electrifying feeling of their kiss creeps up in her mind. She quickly turns away, takes a deep breath, then proceeds to run back home. 

Her eyes darted from here and there, watching her feet as she felt the morning sun hit her. It felt warm and welcoming, lessening her thoughts and making her appreciate her surroundings. She would look around now, up at the trees that seemingly glowed at the morning light. Beautiful as they made perfect shade of those below them. Her surroundings felt flowery and free, reminding her of the colors that she’s never seen.

Jihyo gets home to an empty apartment, Momo gone from the sheets when Jihyo checked their room. It was weird when Jihyo didn’t seem to care, fully expecting the girl to run off again. It’s scary that she was right, but Jihyo didn’t seem to care at all. After cleaning herself off and packing her stuff, Jihyo was out for university, hoping that she’d get the chance to talk to Momo later. 

Considering how much her legs ached from all the running she did, Jihyo took the subway that morning, leaving her bike behind like she did back then. This time, there was no rush. It was still quite early, and rush hour wasn’t so bad. Jihyo beeps her card into the system before entering a cart, sitting down as she spots an extra chair by the side. The train cart is silent as people minded their own business, busy on their own phones as they took them to their destinations. Jihyo was about to do the same until she looked out the window, seeing the city view as they passed by it. She admires it for a while before getting bored, proceeding to look around the train instead. Her past seems to haunt her when she suddenly remembers how she and Sana first met.

_That’s stupid, so stupid._

Jihyo quickly exits the train once she reaches her stop, briskly walking to the university as she tries to ignore the weight on her shoulders. 

“Hey there, you good?” Jeongyeon greets Jihyo as they meet by the lobby. Jihyo answers with a hesitant nod, keeping her mouth shut as her friend stared at her. Seemingly fooled by her lie, Jeongyeon nods and looks away to look around the campus. Once again, the halls are filled with students. Some rush to get to their classes while some are idly chatting by the corners. It was clear to see who the soulmates were, with their content smiles and laced hands. PDA, gross but… sweet. It’s fun when you’re the one who’s receiving the attention, not when you’re the one who has to watch it. She sighs as she remembers Momo’s hand holding hers, warm as they swung slowly in the middle. 

Jihyo proceeds with her classes like normal, zoning in and out whenever she’d stare out the window. Everything around her just felt confusing, like she was lost in some sort of dreamlike state that she can’t get out of. The bell then rings and signifies their lunch break. However, Jihyo just sat there, staring out at a distant tree from the school garden.

“Hey, hello?” Jeongyeon says, trying to snap her out of her trance by waving her hand in front of her face. It works because Jihyo turns to her, asking her what was wrong.

“Everyone’s gone, it’s lunch time.” She says and Jihyo looks around, realizing that fact. She quickly packs her stuff and stands up, following a hesitant Jeongyeon into the halls. They’re both silent as they walk down the halls, heading into the cafeteria like a lot of the other students are. Jihyo kept to herself, thoughts in another place as they traversed down the halls. They soon reach the cafeteria and they both take their lunch out, eating in silence as the normal chatter surrounds them.

“You gotta tell me what’s going on, hyo.” Jeongyeon says as she eats her sandwich, eyeing Jihyo suspiciously as the girl poked and prodded on her salad. There was nothing to talk about, she’s not sure if Jeongyeon would even understand. “I’m fine.” She says, filling herself up with some lettuce in hopes of Jeongyeon leaving her alone. But her friend continued to stare, slowly eating her food as she watched her every move.

Is this what Momo felt like? If so, she didn’t like it.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jeongyeon says, finishing up on her food. Jihyo lets out a sigh, feeling herself get drawn closer to telling the truth. She looks her friend in the eyes, only seeing a concerned look in them as she patiently waits for her to say something. 

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“I can try.” 

Jeongyeon then held her hand, giving it a light squeeze as she urged her to continue. Jihyo gives in, nodding before figuring out what to say.

“I can see colors.” She says, making Jeongyeon freeze in confusion. That was expected. She’s been friends with her for so long, having heard of her condition way before they even met their soulmates. “Shouldn’t you be happy?” Jeongyeon says, a smile starting to form in her face.

“I only see them in my dreams, Jeongyeon.” Jihyo sighs, reminding the vivid hues that filled her mind that night. It takes her friend a while to process all of it, absorbing the information as they both sat there.

“It must be the soulmate effect then.” She says, shrugging, but Jihyo shakes her head. “That doesn’t make sense, why is it happening now?” She asks, feeling her thoughts race in her mind once again. Why was it happening now? Now that she’s nearly four years into her relationship with Momo. Now when she’s being told that someone else is her soulmate and now when Momo had been acting so weird. Her friend could only give her an apologetic smile, shrugging as she lets go of her hand.

“You and Momo have to talk about it then.”

Talk. Jihyo could only hope that she doesn’t end up the same way she did last night. 

Lunch soon ends and all the students disperse once again, all heading to their separate classes and endeavours. Jeongyeon splits up with Jihyo, telling her to call her if ever need be. Jihyo didn’t really have much left to do that day, with the last four hours of her school time set as free hours. She decides to camp in the library for the meantime, so she heads out to the hallways to get there.

Around her are different people conversing, some greeting her as she passes by. There are some people that she recognizes, mostly juniors who were still out doing their own things. As she walks down the halls, she feels heavy again as the tugging gets stronger and stronger. She looks up and that’s when she meets a pair of eyes.

Does the universe hate her or do opposites really attract? 

For a split second, there was a flash of colors around her. But she immediately closes her eyes, and once she opens them, they’re gone. She really should’ve stayed to get more sleep. Fatigue was getting to her, making her get lost in Sana’s eyes before the girl quickly looked down and started to walk away, hoping to pass Jihyo without a word. But she stumbles on her steps, nearly falling if Jihyo hadn’t caught her by the arm.

They both freeze, time sitting still for a moment before Sana pulls her arm away. Her hoodie was off her head now, no longer covering it and exposing her messy hair and the dark bags under her eyes. She had gotten noticeably paler too, and the aura that everyone knew her for was gone.

It was the same sight that Jihyo saw of Sana in the grocery store, so she couldn’t help but ask.

“Are you okay?” She asks, making Sana’s brows furrow as she backs away. Her mouth is agape for a second, her eyes showing flashes of different emotions all at once. A force then pulls Sana away, making her turn to look at the person.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The girl says as she puts Sana behind her. Sana tries to butt in, pulling at the girl’s sweater. “Nayeon.” She says, her voice shaking but the older woman ignores her, staring down at Jihyo with an angry stare. The poor girl had no idea what she was talking about, so she backed away, trying to make sense of the situation. Nayeon scoffs and looks down at her, making Jihyo feel smaller than she already is. Their other friend simply held Sana as Nayeon starts to confront Jihyo.

“You ask her that question after what you’ve done to her?” Nayeon says, her eyes seemingly lit up with fire as Jihyo couldn’t form a straight answer. “What do you mean?” Jihyo asks, looking back at Sana who’s trying her best to avoid her gaze. 

It seems like Jihyo had unknowingly pushed a button, making Nayeon boil over right then and there.

“You fucking broke her heart, Park Jihyo!” It was like a pack of needles that stung at Jihyo’s skin, the impact making her wince as people stopped and stared. “You’re her soulmate and you won’t even give it a chance!” One of their friends is trying to stop Nayeon now, but the girl just won’t back down. “I don’t care if you don’t see colors, blind people still find their soulmates! Why can’t you?” She shouts, enraged and fueled with anger as Jihyo could do nothing but back down. “You’re out here dating a complete stranger while she’s trying to make sense of what’s happening to her, and yet you call her delusional?” Jihyo’s words come to haunt her, bringing her back to the night that she can’t forget.

“You’re such a-” 

“Nayeon!”

Sana’s voice rang out louder than what Nayeon was about to say, making the older stop to look at her. She looked tired and desperate, holding her arm as she shook her head. “Just stop, please.” She says, and the girl seemingly gives up at that. She keeps the words that she was about to say before giving Jihyo one last look, turning away and urging Sana to do the same.

Sana stares at Jihyo for a second before getting escorted out of the hall. Jihyo is left with the crowd, half of them just staring at her and whispering among themselves. She quickly leaves the scene, her eyes focused on the ground as she tries to drown out the voices that are whispering in the halls.

Jihyo tries to find solace in the library, a place of silence where she’s hidden in a pile of books. Whatever just happened, she tries to keep it out of her head. She tries to think about something else, anything else. She tries to drown out the scene with some music and a book. But no matter what she does, it still lingers in the back of her mind. She thinks about calling Jeongyeon, but seeing how the girl was also lost when it came to her morning predicament, she decides to leave it for later.

For now, she deals with the thought of random strangers hating her for something that she doesn’t understand alone.

After a few hours of recovering from the situation, Jihyo decides that it's about time that she got home. She packs her stuff and makes it out the library, peeking at the sides to make sure that she wouldn't bump into anyone that she wouldn't want to. She then puts her hoodie up, quickly going out to the subway stations.

Was she really a bad person? She still doesn’t know what ignited the spark between them and Sana. She’s done research on it before, she knows that there can only be one soulmate per person. That spot has already been taken by Momo years ago, so what was this all about? Maybe Sana just didn’t feel the same spark she did with her actual soulmate. That’s how it was for her and Momo back then. Jihyo looks back at the memory of first meeting Momo, and it wasn’t even a personal meet up.

They met on the university message boards when Momo was asking for help. JIhyo, being the kind and ambitious leader she was, decided to give Momo a hand into transitioning into the school. She was new to Korea, an exchange student from Japan. Momo was dopey, clumsy in her words as her friendship with Jihyo grew. They talked about everything under the sun. From dogs and to soulmates, their nights were always filled with each other’s messages on their phones. The school year soon started, and they were bound to meet.

Jihyo just didn’t expect Momo’s eyes to light up when they pulled away from their hug. From that day on, Jihyo realized that it’s actually not that hard to find your soulmate, but it did need some convincing. Momo knew of her condition and was fully willing to wait for their relationship to blossom, and it did. Now here she was, met with a predicament as another girl has fallen for her.

Jihyo makes it up the stairs of their apartment complex, thoughts clouding her mind as she opens the door. Momo must’ve been home early, and that was perfect. She sighs and puts her shoes down, but she hears Momo’s frustrated voice echo from the living room.

“We have to make this work, didn’t I tell you that I needed time?” Frustration was evident in her voice, and Jihyo stays in the doorway for a bit, frozen as she listens in on the conversation. Is this the call that she had been waiting for? Why was she so angry?

“I just need the colors back, okay? You can’t give up on me now.” She pleads, and Jihyo feels the air get struck on her throat. What does she mean? Pacing is heard from the living room as Momo grew more and more angry by the second. “You don’t understand, okay! Not all soulmates are meant for each other, I just… I love her, and I don’t think I feel the same with you.” 

Jihyo freezes, the color draining from her face. She suddenly feels numb as the tugging feeling comes back, flashes of her dreams showing up and haunting her again. This can’t be happening, this has to be a joke. 

“Tell her? I can’t do that, you know I can’t! She’s going to leave me.” Jihyo feels the anger start to fester inside of her, so she barges into the leaving room, fuming as Momo turns to face her. The horrified look in Momo’s face would be perfect for a thriller drama, and Jihyo just stood there to watch.

“What can’t you tell me?” Jihyo says, each word heavy as she grits her teeth. Momo immediately hangs up on the call, slowly approaching Jihyo as if she was a rabid dog. “Hey baby… You left early in the morning.” She says, her voice shaking as she tried to change the subject. She hopes that Jihyo wasn’t there to hear the rest of the call, but seeing the fury in Jihyo’s eyes, she figures that she did.

The colors, the dreams, Sana. It all makes sense now. Jihyo needs to confirm it.

“You’re not my soulmate?” She asks, her voice now shaking as a sob started to form. Momo quickly shook her head, cupping Jihyo’s face in her hands as her eyes glazed over too. “I am, Jihyo. I am.” She says and Jihyo tries to believe it, she tries to deny that everything that she’s done is a lie. But she can’t. Nayeon’s voice echoes in her head, shouting at her for loving someone else when Sana was right there. 

“You lied to me.” Jihyo says, retracting herself away from Momo as her tears started to fall. Momo stood there, her whole falling apart as the lie that she’s been carrying starts to tumble down. “You know that’s not true, Jihyo.” She says, the last bit of her pride on the ground as she tries to maintain Jihyo.

But she can’t, and Jihyo feels the anger burst inside of her when Momo tries to hold her again.

She shoves her away, rage filling her up as she backs away. “You fucking lied to me!” She shouts, making Momo flinch and stay back. She was sobbing now, remembering all the times when Momo had fooled her. In the lobby, in the park, in their bed, and in her heart. She has been nothing but Momo’s playtoy, a ragdoll that Momo had chosen to love despite having someone else waiting on her. More tears come down her face when Momo is unable to answer, now crying too as they both stood in the living room.

“I love you, Jihyo.” Momo says after a small moment of silence, her voice small and weak as she admits her fault. Jihyo combs her hand through her hair, a wave of emotions hitting her as she tries to look at anything but Momo. But then, Momo approaches her again, trying to hold her hand. She quickly pulls away, raising it up to slap Momo.

They both stood there with Jihyo’s hand in the air. Waiting for the impact was like waiting for thunder to come after a close lightning, unnerving as Momo closed her eyes and waited for it to come. Some thunders never come, too far to hear or too late occur. Jihyo puts her hand down, letting her anger simmer down instead of boiling over.

“Get out.” She says, her voice low as she looks at the ground. Momo’s eyes widened, realizing that Jihyo was throwing her out.

“Jihyo-”

“Pack your shit and leave!” Jihyo shouts now, looking straight at her with flames in her eyes. Momo only cowers and nods before retreating into their room to grab her stuff, knowing that there’s no reasoning with her anymore.

Jihyo sits on the couch as she waits, hands covering her face as the tears fall down her face. Memories of her date with Sana playback like a broken track in her mind, reminding her of the feelings that she once ignored. Momo soon exits the room, her luggage behind her. 

“Jihyo.” She says, and the girl doesn’t answer. She waits, she waits for anything. For a scream, a shout, or any reaction at all. But there was nothing/

“My love for you was real.” Momo says, her tone soft. It makes Jihyo question herself, but she was too clouded by anger to make sense of it.

“Mine was built on a lie.” She replies, spite in her voice as she stared daggers at Momo’s eyes. The girl gives her one last pleading look, but she knows that Jihyo had made up her mind. She leaves, door gently closing behind her as Jihyo sat by herself on the couch. 

The overwhelming emotions of grief and pain settled in Jihyo’s chest as the tugging worsened, making her heart ache as she cried alone. Jihyo always believed that soulmates will find a way despite her condition, but she never thought that she would be fooled by someone, using her illness as an advantage to trick her into falling in love. 

Jihyo tries to drown out the pain by sleeping, buried under layers of comforters on their couch because Jihyo refuses to sleep in the bed that Momo once slept in. She finds peace in her dreams, colors of the sky painting her night as Sana’s laugh echoed from the background once more.

(When Sana wakes up, she just tends to forget why. There wasn't a reason to see colors, no reason to believe in fate. She has lost her gravity, floating into what seems like blindness.

Especially now that the hues are losing their spark, growing dull by the second as she starts to give up.)

* * *

It takes Jihyo months to recover from the heart break, left alone in the empty apartment as the monochrome world grew duller than it already was. Momo had been persistent, trying to contact Jihyo and reason with her. But Jihyo set the record straight by blocking her number and moving out of their apartment, completely disappearing from the girl’s radar as she moved into the university dorms. It was much smaller than their studio apartment, but it did keep her away from the pain. 

In the nights, Jihyo would notice that her dreams were starting to falter. Losing sense and meaning as they turned into blurred out memories. In a way, she feels like the world has given up on her. Leaving her to tend on her own.

She’s thought of Sana multiple times, feeling sorry for her and trying to find the right words to say. She’s seen her multiple times, aimless roaming around the walls as her friends kept her company. Jihyo was too scared to approach her though, remembering the fire in Nayeon’s eyes when she had confronted her. Jihyo tries to formulate a plan, and she does. 

She has to get Sana back, fully intending to take her heart and keep it this time. So she starts with the angry monster called Im Nayeon.

The girl had ignored her texts for days, leaving them on read as Jihyo pleaded for a small amount of their time. Jihyo knows that she deserves it, so she waits. And soon, Nayeon finally replied.

_[Jihyo , 02/15/21]  
Please, just let me explain._

_[Nayeon , 9:10 pm]  
Fine, you have five minutes of our time tomorrow. Dismissal time, meet us at Gazebo A._

Five minutes, Jihyo hopes that it’s enough time to convince the two.

Jihyo idly waits by the school gazebo, shivering to herself as the cold air hits her. Nayeon didn’t give a specific time, and it was quite worrying as some students were dismissed at 8pm. Still, Jihyo waits as she thinks to herself, going over the lines that she has memorized to be able to portray her thoughts quickly and in time. Half an hour soon passes and Jihyo starts to think that she’s been stood up. She sighs and stands up from the bench, preparing to leave until some clears their throat behind her.

“You’re just gonna leave?” Nayeon says, making Jihyo turn around to face her. She looked at her with a stone faced expression with her girlfriend beside her. She learns that her name was Mina and that she was actually batchmates with her. “No, I was just thinking that I got stood up.” Jihyo says, feeling her hands shake when Nayeon does nothing but stare.

They stand there, all cold as the wind flows harshly outside.

“Your five minutes is ticking.” Nayeon says, annoyed as she checks on her nails. Jihyo swiftly nods and takes in a deep breath, trying to find the right words. She’s completely forgotten about her script, opting for improv and hoping that it works.

“I’m sorry I broke Sana’s heart,” She starts, trying to read the room. Mina was only staring at her, an understanding look in her eyes as Nayeon only raised one eyebrow. She keeps her eye contact with the two, making sure to show her utmost sincerity. “I should’ve realized that I was being fooled by Momo from the start.” Jihyo says, feeling the heavy weight of Momo’s lies pile on top of her. She doesn’t let herself crumble on the spot though, putting up a straight face as the two looked at her, confused.

Jihyo begins to explain what happened. From her first meet up with Momo up to the colors that she’s been dreaming. Jihyo explains it all as the couple quietly listens. At some point, Jihyo feels like she’s rambling. Word vomit comes out of her mouth as she tries to make sense of her situation. She’s never had to explain this to anyone before, thinking that they’re just gonna get confused. Jeongyeon was, she remembers the weird look in her eyes before the conversation shifted onto something else. 

Jihyo was taught not to release her emotional baggage on random people, but with Nayeon’s expression softening into a look of concern, she hopes that they understand. Once Jihyo finishes, she takes a deep breath and nods. The two share a look before asking Jihyo questions.

“So this girl, she used your illness to her advantage cause she likes you?” Nayeon asks and Jihyo nods. That was one way to put it. Mina was next to ask questions. “What about her soulmate?” She asks and Jihyo doesn’t have much of an answer. “I don’t know who they are, I didn’t bother knowing.” She says as she remembers how she blocked Momo on every social media site. They all sit there for a moment as Jihyo stares at the ground, feeling the two judge the situation.

Until Nayeon spoke up.

“And how are you? After all of this?” Her tone was laced with concern, a deep contrast to the tone that she had used the last time that they met. It takes Jihyo some time to formulate a straight answer. Saying that she was okay would be a lie, but saying that she’s not would be exaggerating things. She has moved on, but she feels empty. Empty without Sana’s smile and empty now that she has no hand to hold.

“I just want to talk to Sana, try to explain. I want to make it up to her.” She says, sincerity in her heart as the couple nods.

“That’s gonna be a hard thing to do.” Nayeon says, breathing out a sigh that emits a small fog. Mina simply nods and continues. “She’s been reluctant to approach anyone lately, not even us.” She says and Jihyo’s heart feels heavy as the thought of the brightest star in the world slowly dying out into a dark figure. Jihyo only nods and looks down again, her thoughts clouded by the monochrome dreams that have been appearing lately.

“You do have one option though, she can’t run from it.” Nayeon says, making both of the girls look up at her, waiting for an explanation.

“The school festival is next week, and she’ll be in one of the food cart stalls for their batch.”

* * *

Sana has been lost lately, aimlessly living as the once painted hallways turn gray once again. She doesn’t know why it’s happening, but she doesn’t bother to try and fix it. It was better this way, with this unsaid and words kept close. Closure didn’t seem like a viable option anyway, and Sana wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye.

She was just confused, questions hanging in the air as she’s reminded of Jihyo in every second of her life. From the coffee that she drinks to the dull colors around her, Sana feels trapped as her life has built itself to become a reminder of what she can never have.

She’s stopped chasing now, letting life take her where it wants to just so she can run away from her emotions. It’ll take her a while to recover. It’s hard to light a fire in a frozen husk of a place that’s her heart. She could only wish to fall in love with someone else like Jihyo did with Momo. 

But she knows that’s not the same, she knows that lying to herself would only make things worse. Sana was never a runner, always standing her ground when it came to things that mattered. So now that Sana is in the even ground without anyone to face, she just feels lost.

Her brain runs itself on autopilot and soon enough, she reaches the week that she’s been dreading; the annual school festival.

The school festival was Sana’s favorite event from their university. With students from different courses working for the same goal, her excitement was exhilarating. This was when her social skills would be put into good use as she would be the one actively advertising their stall. But things change, and for that year, Sana chose to be a chef behind the curtains instead. 

Her friends had been acting suspicious lately. Always asking her how she was and if she was going to participate in the festival. It was almost as if they had something planned, probably a party the night after or something. They’ve been doing everything to keep her distracted anyway. It’s not like Sana needed help in doing it, she’s been doing fine hiding out in different gazebos and avoiding a certain someone.

The certain someone who has seemingly followed her on every social media account that she had.

Sana chose to ignore it, hiding out in her private accounts for the meantime.

“Sana, table 2 wants some spicy chicken wings, fries on the side.” Haseul says, snapping Sana out of her trance. Sana nods before preparing the wings. She keeps her focus clear as she prepares the meal. But then, she grows frustrated when one of the bottles was color coded. “Why didn’t they set these things up as color blind friendly?” She grumbles as she tries to figure out which one is each, gaining the attention of her classmate. 

“You good there?” Chan asks as he plates up some nachos, drizzling cheese on it before serving it up on the counter. Sana shakes her head, showing the bottle to him. “What color is this?” She says and Chan immediately replies. “That’s the ketchup bottle.” He says, emitting a small sigh from Sana before the girl proceeds on what she was doing. The boy eyes her suspiciously, looking at her as she filled up the sauce containers before serving it up.

“I thought you met your soulmate.” He asks and Sana freezes for a while, unable to answer. Chan seems to take notice of this reaction, quickly apologizing. “Ah, something must’ve happened. I’m sorry.” Sana only nods at him, ignoring the small lump that’s forming on her throat. She distracts herself by wiping down their workstation, letting the sound of the muffled dj booth from a few stalls away take her to another thought. 

“Sana, someone’s here for you.” Haseul says as she comes back to the kitchen, washing her hands on the sink. Who could be visiting her at that hour. She told her friends that her shift wouldn’t be over in a bit. She peeks out the curtain and immediately feels her heart stop as she immediately makes eye contact with the girl that she’s been actively avoiding,

Jihyo stands up from her chair, putting her hand up to wave at Sana but the girl immediately closes the curtain, biting her tongue as the thoughts rattle around in her mind. Her crewmates look at her, worry flashing in their eyes.

“Do I tell her to leave?” Haseul asks as Chan puts his hand on Sana’s shoulder, but she shakes her head, not wanting to cause a scene. “Just follow protocol, serve her if she’s gonna order anything.”

With this, the two nod and resume with their work. Sana tries to do the same, fumbling with a few ingredients as she gets lost in the monochrome world again. How does she escape this? Her break isn’t until half an hour and she didn’t really want to leave Chan alone in the kitchen to tend to all the orders. Their stall was quite popular, and the next wave was coming soon. She was just stuck there, back turned away from the curtains as she tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. She distracts herself with the food, trying to drown out the words that Jihyo had left her in the past.

She was doing such a great job that she had gone deaf to the calls around her.

She’s lost in her own world until she’s shook by the shoulders, Chan worriedly looking at her. That’s when she realizes that she was crying, tears streaming down her face as she gripped the knife while cutting up a few ingredients. “Are you okay?” He asks, catching the attention of Haseul from the counter. Both share a worried look as they wait for an answer.

 _“Are you okay?”_ Jihyo’s voice echoes in Sana’s mind, making her heart ache as she nods and makes up an excuse. “It’s fine, just onions.” She says despite the lack of onions on the chopping board. Chan shakes his head beside her before taking away the knife, making Sana turn to face him.

“What are you doing?” 

“You’re going on break.” He says, unlacing the apron from Sana’s waist and hanging it by their makeshift hanger. Sana shakes her head, trying to grab it but Chan only blocks her away. “The next wave is coming, Chan. You’re gonna need my help.” She says but it was no use, Chan standing his ground and shakes his head. “Min-ho’s coming soon anyway, I’m just dismissing you early.” He says and Sana could do nothing but take her stuff.

She turns to them and asks him again, knowing that she’s just gonna get the same answer anyway.

“Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent, go.” Chan chuckles as he playfully shoves Sana out the stall, leaving her out in the open to tend to herself.

Sana sighs, wiping the stray tears away from her face before taking Chan’s advice, leaving the stall to take a breather.

The festival was beautiful, streamers and banners were hung all around the campus. Some professors who were known for being strict let loose as they roamed around the field, trying out the things that their students had to offer. It’s a shame that she can’t see colors now, the bright colors that she’s been looking forward to missing as she walks around the campus.

Sana finds herself by the side of the picnic field that the school had set up, different groups of friends on it as some couples cuddled under the stars and the lanterns that they’ve set up. She feels this pit of envy in her heart, sighing as the once yellow glow of the moon has turned back to gray.

But then, someone grabs her arm and makes her turn around. 

It was Jihyo, the girl who had taken hold of Sana’s heart in the past months, crushing it to bits and unknowingly breaking her heart. She’s put up a brave face for so long, but now that she was in front of her, Sana can’t help but crumble. “What do you want?” She says, her tone stern as Jihyo kept a hold of her arm. She tries to pull away, but the girl shakes her head, snaking her hands on hers to hold them. Sana feels the heat rush up her cheeks, feeling lightheaded as Jihyo stared at her eyes.

She’s supposed to hate her. Why are the butterflies celebrating right now?

“Let me explain.” Jihyo says, eyes pleading with Sana as they stared at each other. Sana tries to fight back this feeling, the feeling that makes her want to accept it., but she can’t. She can’t when her heart is pulling her to the ground and keeping her in place. Jihyo takes her silence for an answer, pulling away but not letting go of her hands.

“I’m sorry that I messed up,” She says, her eyes staring at her with utmost sincerity. “It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize.” It takes Sana all of the might in her body to hold Jihyo’s face right there, to tell her to stop apologizing because she knows that it’s not her fault. “I’m sorry I said those things, I’m sorry I made you sad. I just never knew, I ignored this feeling in my chest and-” Jihyo was rambling now, and Sana has to stop her by doing something that she feels like she’s going to regret. She puts her palm on Jihyo’s lips before moving it to her cheeks, letting Jihyo rest on it as she feels the tears fill up her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Sana. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize that I was in love with you.” Sana’s facade immediately breaks as the first few tears fall down her cheeks. She tries to keep still, tries to not kiss Jihyo right then and there as they both start to cry. She doesn’t know why she felt so sad now that she has what she wants. Perhaps it’s the tears that’s telling her that it’s too late and that they’ve lost their spark, both stuck in a monochrome world despite having the same understanding as one another.

“I’m sorry I ran away.” Jihyo says, shaking her head as she kisses Sana’s hand, gripping it as if she’s afraid to let her go. Sana simply shakes her head, unable to form a coherent sentence as she buries her face on Jihyo’s neck, feeling her emotions spill over as her brain tries to absorb all of the things around her.

Jihyo lifts her face up and cups them with her hands, her expression impossibly warm despite the bucket of tears that they’ve cried. “You made me see the most beautiful colors that I’ve never seen, Sana. And I can’t lose you fully knowing that I could’ve done something to change it.” Sana feels her heart burst out of her ribcage as she presses her forehead on Jihyo’s, both closing their eyes as they let go of their doubts and fears.

Their noses brush together, both lips only centimeters apart as they breathe the same air. Jihyo’s touch was intoxicating, leaving Sana breathless until - “I love you.” Sana says, her lips diving in to take in all the love that Jihyo has to give. It was like ecstasy and Sana feels her mind just go blank. The whole world gets muffled as all she can focus on is Jihyo’s lips on hers, both moving at the same pace as they fill in the gaps in each other’s heart. 

It shouldn’t be this easy, but it was. She forgets about her sorrows as her heart lets go of it’s baggage, letting Jihyo take over as they kiss each other. Her hatred turns to nothing but love as she holds Jihyo, arms laced around her neck, soon hearing the fireworks pop up in the sky. They both pull away, startled by the explosions, and suddenly, Sana is met with the most beautiful pair of brown eyes that she’s ever seen.

It’s back, the colors are back. Jihyo watches as Sana’s eyes light up, a bright smile forming on her face as she kisses her again, deeper with strong intentions of letting her absorb all of the love that she has. Their hearts beat the same rhythm as they close their eyes, hearing the people cheer around them as the fireworks painted the sky.

“I love you.” Jihyo says as they pull away, not minding that the world remains in black and white. It shouldn't matter, not when Sana was looking at her like she was the most beautiful star in the universe. Sana answers her with a smile, tears no longer out of sorrow, but out of joy as she watches the world get filled up by magnificent hues again.

“And you know that I love you the most.”

Meeting your soulmate doesn’t have to be perfect. Some experiences can be clouded by a few roadblocks, stopping the two souls from meeting each other.

But you can’t stop fate, not when something was meant to be from the start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please hydrate and remember that my twitter is always open via [@icelikesyou](https://twitter.com/icelikesyou) (but i post all of my stories on [@icewritesstuff ](https://twitter.com/icewritesstuff)) CC's open as well, just visit the link on my main ^^.


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